Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML
Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had a friend over. This friend was talking about how two girls were trying to get with him. My boyfriend said, "I wouldn't ever fuck the blonde one, but I would do the other one in a heartbeat." Then, realizing what he'd just said, he hesitantly added, "…if I was single." FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Today, I went to a party and saw my current boyfriend making out with my ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to taste some wine with some friends. I drank a little too much and referred to him as my brother to a random guy. Let’s just say I put a strain on my relationship. FML
Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML
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Top comments
NoahStaz 3
That's when you tell him that his brother or father is bigger.
AwkwardHaole808 16
Dump his ass and find someone better.
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Comments (167)
Marcelb 17
Actually a lot of people say brunettes to blondes and vice versa, with people having light brown of dark blonde hair. Maybe he just mistook OP's hair for blonde. Who knows.
reject214 10
He was drunk. Give him a break. He meant you
usmcheins 1
Her name is Jill
usmcheins 1
Im guessing her name is Jill
challan 19
That bitch never gives head! She's down with a rub and tug, but a prude when it comes to the rest. I'm actually in a serious relationship with Jill myself... and while she's VERY good at what she does, she never puts out the good stuff.
lexiieeex3 32
What an asshole.
kristat 14
I've had brown hair my entire life, yet anytime we had a mystery shopper come into my work they'd put my hair color as blonde, presumably because it was a lighter brown than the rest of my coworkers. Maybe he, his family or his friends have really dark hair so yours seems blonde in comparison.
sarahblayke 10
Dump his ass
Ncbaby2012_fml 3
Punch him in the face then dump his stupid ass
Tragichero92 12
Make an honest man out of him. Dye your hair blonde ;)
dolceandkabana 1
Blondes do have great oral skills