Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML
Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had a friend over. This friend was talking about how two girls were trying to get with him. My boyfriend said, "I wouldn't ever fuck the blonde one, but I would do the other one in a heartbeat." Then, realizing what he'd just said, he hesitantly added, "…if I was single." FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Today, I went to a party and saw my current boyfriend making out with my ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to taste some wine with some friends. I drank a little too much and referred to him as my brother to a random guy. Let’s just say I put a strain on my relationship. FML
Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML
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Top comments
NoahStaz 3
That's when you tell him that his brother or father is bigger.
AwkwardHaole808 16
Dump his ass and find someone better.
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Comments (167)
rosesong2494 3
Drunken words are sober thoughts.....
daps29 11
Is he blonde too? Cuz he just might think blonde and brunette sound the same at that drunk moment
omgawshglee 4
Sometimes when you're drunk, you say random shit, or say things wrong, but it might be true.
feyers2012 0
Are u a Hott brunette
ikilledaman 9
For some reason, when I first read this FML, I thought Op was goung to say "I'm not hot" instead of "I'm not brunette"
stridercab 12
Well...maybe you should get to work on them ******* skills, missy.
MarkToast 19
He might have been too drunk to say it right. Everybody has those words that they get mixed up. Maybe he mixes up blonde and brunette