Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML
Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had a friend over. This friend was talking about how two girls were trying to get with him. My boyfriend said, "I wouldn't ever fuck the blonde one, but I would do the other one in a heartbeat." Then, realizing what he'd just said, he hesitantly added, "…if I was single." FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Today, I went to a party and saw my current boyfriend making out with my ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to taste some wine with some friends. I drank a little too much and referred to him as my brother to a random guy. Let’s just say I put a strain on my relationship. FML
Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML
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Top comments
NoahStaz 3
That's when you tell him that his brother or father is bigger.
AwkwardHaole808 16
Dump his ass and find someone better.
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Comments (167)
Marineman5 6
Next time you go out with with him just blurt out you never had an orgasim to everyone.
ideasrule 13
So what? You expect people to be coherent when they're drunk? You've obviously not been around too many drunk people.
kitsune3 20
OP, you DO realize that when people are drunk, they don't know what the hell they're talking about, right? He probably just said "blonde" because he was out of it. Don't be so quick to jump to conclusions.
Senor_Pehdos 5
that means your not doing your job.
Jasonf6 0
You are brunette and now single i hope; your bf is a tool.
mikeymuskrat89 4
Do you give great ********?
SuzyTurquoiseBlu 25
People talk shit when they are drunk, male or female. I wouldn't take it too seriously.
DadoMahho 4
He might of had a previous GF, and just isn't thinking straight.
nerdstuck101 8
Maybe ur outta ur league? Srry but YDI...
Sleepy_Brown_23 0
Probably means you got to step it up