Today, my boss is being so cheap, he'd rather type in the dark, not fix our water heater or replace our cordless phone because he will not get his bonus if he goes over the budget. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss complained about how his performance bonus is too small, as he expected it to be the total amount accrued rather than a percentage. He also made the decision to not give any of the employees profit sharing this year, because the company didn't beat the budgeted increase in profits. FML
Today, my boss told me I’m doing too much overtime, and that it’s draining our budget. I never volunteer for overtime, I don’t need it. Every bit of overtime I do is shit he says I have to do to meet deadlines, most of which are just the parts of his job he can’t be bothered to learn how to do himself. FML
Today, while I was out of the office, I'd left my phone charging inside. My boss informed me that since I am clearly running up her electricity bill, it will be deducted out of my already nearly non existent paycheck. FML
Today, my boss confirmed he is a micro-managing asshole. We walked into the office together and I turned on the lights. He switched them off and switched them on again, just to make sure that I did it right. FML
Today, my boss scolded me for being too friendly to our customers and told me to back off and let them do their thing. Less than an hour after doing as he said, he scolded me again, this time for slacking off and not asking them if they needed help finding stuff. There goes my bonus. FML
Today, my boss called me while I was working from home to bitch me out over being away from my computer for 49 minutes, when my lunch break is only 45 minutes, thus wasting another 13 minutes. My boss is known for spending hours online gaming from home during work hours. FML
Today, my boss bragged to a coworker, in front of me, about how much money he saved on a project because he majorly underpays me. My boss is my dad. FML
Today, my boss decided that a mug and a public 'thank you' were a sufficient substitute for a Christmas bonus. FML
Today, my boss tried to fire me for not emailing him a screenshot to prove my email wasn't working. FML
Today, my boss finally worked out that by not giving the lads a pay rise to £18 an hour, instead just offering them overtime when necessary, it actually cost the equivalent of raising each employees salary to £26 an hour, for a whole year. He’s is blaming me because I issue the pay checks. FML
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Top comments
DahkLohd 4
Take your revenge by throwing some of that freezing cold water in his face. He won't be able to see who threw it in the dark, and he can't call for help. :)
4bidden 0
haha, thats pathetic....tell him you want some of his bonus money!!
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Comments (57)
zinoxity 23
That sucks. But hey, he's the boss.
Marvin_Android 0
Sounds dreary. However, you'd still hate working there even with some light, some hot water, and a cordless phone. At least in the darkness you won't see what a rubbish-hole you're working in, so that should alleviate at least a little of the misery. Well, maybe not. Life. Don't talk to me about life.
Bobissmall 13
Surely the government is in charge, and it doesn't sound like he's following health and safety guidelines...
iluvme4never 0
@Marvin: And I'm guessing your life is so much worse? Stop whining about it, prick.
Allstarr23 1
Why do you need hot water at work?
rallets 23
coffee? tea? soup? ...
PurplePeeps 0
Rofl, 31. It's from a book. Take a joke.
4bidden 0
haha, thats pathetic....tell him you want some of his bonus money!!
Doortje 30
Sounds like a certain mr. McDuck I used to know..
theten_fml 9
he can fix it after he gets his bonus
banana_buddy 6
Sleep with his wife or daughter or both... that should solve your problems, and if that doesn't work you can try sleeping with him instead.
Minky1996 0
it's a girl... that write this... awkward!
fakeaccountX 6
^ That makes it hot.
iliketurdles 7
I'm not a grammar-Nazi or anything but its WROTE!! WROTE, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Plus not to mention your poor sentence lay-out. My god.. It's almost un-refutable common knowledge.
eatpussy 0
^grammer nazi.
justmeagirl 0
This is why we have bad working conditions, and bad customer service- there are incentives for bad business as long as it's cheap business. It's do your job badly or get fired.
DahkLohd 4
Take your revenge by throwing some of that freezing cold water in his face. He won't be able to see who threw it in the dark, and he can't call for help. :)
Trollz4daLULZ 2
"Hot water heater" is redundant. That is, unless you mean a device that heats water that's already hot. I hope he keeps you working in the dark forever; you would be de-lighted!
Marcelb 17
And who exactly was it that called it a hot water heater? :P
Trollz4daLULZ 2
The OP, before one of the mods went and edited the FML to make me look like a jackass. As if I needed any help!
nancyfantastic 3
Three words, Better Business Bureau
worldclass 0
Quit! Look for a new job while you still have one.