Today, my boss is being so cheap, he'd rather type in the dark, not fix our water heater or replace our cordless phone because he will not get his bonus if he goes over the budget. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss complained about how his performance bonus is too small, as he expected it to be the total amount accrued rather than a percentage. He also made the decision to not give any of the employees profit sharing this year, because the company didn't beat the budgeted increase in profits. FML
Today, my boss told me I’m doing too much overtime, and that it’s draining our budget. I never volunteer for overtime, I don’t need it. Every bit of overtime I do is shit he says I have to do to meet deadlines, most of which are just the parts of his job he can’t be bothered to learn how to do himself. FML
Today, while I was out of the office, I'd left my phone charging inside. My boss informed me that since I am clearly running up her electricity bill, it will be deducted out of my already nearly non existent paycheck. FML
Today, my boss confirmed he is a micro-managing asshole. We walked into the office together and I turned on the lights. He switched them off and switched them on again, just to make sure that I did it right. FML
Today, my boss scolded me for being too friendly to our customers and told me to back off and let them do their thing. Less than an hour after doing as he said, he scolded me again, this time for slacking off and not asking them if they needed help finding stuff. There goes my bonus. FML
Today, my boss called me while I was working from home to bitch me out over being away from my computer for 49 minutes, when my lunch break is only 45 minutes, thus wasting another 13 minutes. My boss is known for spending hours online gaming from home during work hours. FML
Today, my boss bragged to a coworker, in front of me, about how much money he saved on a project because he majorly underpays me. My boss is my dad. FML
Today, my boss decided that a mug and a public 'thank you' were a sufficient substitute for a Christmas bonus. FML
Today, my boss tried to fire me for not emailing him a screenshot to prove my email wasn't working. FML
Today, my boss finally worked out that by not giving the lads a pay rise to £18 an hour, instead just offering them overtime when necessary, it actually cost the equivalent of raising each employees salary to £26 an hour, for a whole year. He’s is blaming me because I issue the pay checks. FML
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Top comments
DahkLohd 4
Take your revenge by throwing some of that freezing cold water in his face. He won't be able to see who threw it in the dark, and he can't call for help. :)
4bidden 0
haha, thats pathetic....tell him you want some of his bonus money!!
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Comments (57)
FMLinCA 12
how're you all getting your work done? Lol. This is lame, I'd call in sick and stay in my warm and comfy bed. =)
LesCDeal 6
People are out there digging ditches as we speak. Suck it up.
capnbzarr 43
Those people digging ditches probably have access to plenty of hot water. And (sun)light.
brootalxkeni 0
don't we all love bosses
quacky123 0
I'm sorry Bob [Cratchit,] sounds like someone read a bit too much Dickens this year, usually people don't pick up pointers though! Hey everything works out in the story maybe it will for you too, Merry Christmas!
BosatKhanjar101 0
sounds like a Scrooge to me
capnbzarr 43
If you contact your local employment law agency (Iowa Workforce Development, according to Google), they will probably tell you that all employers are required to provide a safe, healthy workplace. And that would include having enough light to see where you're going, and enough hot water to properly wash your hands. Now, you're SOL when it comes to the phone, probably.
capnbzarr 43
Thanks for reminding everybody that there are still plenty of sexist assholes in the world. I can't believe this comment hasn't been deleted by the moderators.
pyro119 0
hahaha look at this chick ^^^^ thinkin people care what she has to say HA!
Garytt 0
why care? you still get paid
ObtrusiveDave_fml 0
well hell yeah. Your boss is doing what anyone else in his position would do. Who wouldn't want a bonus.