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Yes, definitely. And wtf, your life is definitely NOT fucked. First of all, someone complimented you, and second of all, it was on your cleavage. If I was complimented on that, I'd be feeling great about myself. I'm actually pissed that you think insignificant shit like that means your life is fucked up. How the hell did this FML get accepted? **WE REALLY NEED A "So what?" OPTION.**
Yeeeah, I agree with Eresbel -- having been in situations where co-workers started complimenting my breasts, it's actually just awkward unless it's from a very close friend. And seeing as how most of them didn't stop after I asked them to, it became downright infuriating and got really creepy really fast. I started dressing in baggy clothes just to try to get them to stop. So yeah. It doesn't feel "great," it's fucking awful.
you're an ass. Women don't like to be used as tools, and it's horrible to be told to 'keep it up' by your boss: it's like he doesn't care about her work, just about her cleavage, and some men, like you probably, don't get it. It's NOT a compliment! he's treating her like a stripper! you can go do whatever you want, letting guys rule you, but this is an FML. so this person obviously agrees with my side.
it's a compliment only if you feel complimented. If you feel objectified, then NO. Just because you're a baboon doesn't mean every woman who doesn't like to judged based on her chest size is a bitch or a lesbian. What if we were to judge men solely on the size of their package?
#340, are you serious? oh yea we love the attention that dirty, fat, old, bald men give us just because we were 'blessed' with good looks. NO. Most women hate being objectified, even if it's by the hottest guy on the planet (it's a turn-off). #186, 180, some girls have too much boob that it's hard to cover it all up. for example, wearing t-shirts with big boobs is hard, especially getting them on. sometimes you have to get blouses that button on, to look professional too. but if your boobs are a lot bigger than an average size, you can't even button it all the way up. you have to leave some of it unbuttoned just to fit into it. and if you say, just get bigger t-shirts, realize that the arm-length and waist size will also increase. to #257, regarding "always calling guys creeps and pervs like we dont have feelings to you whores". ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS YOU DUMB MOFO!?!? Actually, go learn english first. as for all this victim blaming...it's disgusting!! Just because her shirts, manufactured by companies led by men, don't completely cover her up, it's not her fault! Over 98% of CEO's are men. That includes the places that make clothes to. So do you really think that it's her fault for not being able to buy shirts that completely cover her up?? Firstly, there has to be shirts that cover you up before you can even buy them. Most of you people who say that 'oh just cover it up' are probably sizes A, B, and some C anyways. D and over have a shitload of problems that you just blame them for.
#346: Way to prove the point by making all kinds of assumptions about other people, there. "You're probably this" and "you're probably that." What a bunch of baloney. You just got baited, and you took it, hook, line, and sinker. I stand by my assessment. It was a reprimand. I don't normally use sarcasm when I reprimand people, but it reads like a sarcastic criticism to me.
google: professional dress code for women http://www.dba-oracle.com/dress_code.htm http://www.freebeautytips.org/dress-executive.html FYL for having a boss like that (if he makes advances, can file sexual harassment), but you're an idiot for not dressing appropriately.
I quote: "nice cleavage today". Definition of cleavage: Cleavage is the cleft created by a neckline of a garment that partially exposes a woman's breasts, other than the nipples. It is associated with low-cut women's clothing, such as evening gowns, swimwear, casual tops and other garments, designed to emphasize the display of breasts. Professional clothing is not supposed to in any way expose a woman's breasts. It is unprofessional and takes away from the professional image she is supposed to uphold. It would be akin to the manager walking around with no undershirt and his button-up wide open with his chest exposed. Cleavage is a no-no in business environments, unless that is what you are striving for - advancement through sexual intimidation. In fact, depending on what she is wearing a guy could make a case for sexual harassment in the work place against her.
It's not her fault that he was looking down her shirt. You should dress appropriatly at work, but that doesn't mean you should be sexually harrassed and degraded. No one deserves that and the woman should NOT be blamed, even if she was wearing something totally inappropriate. My guess, however, is that she was wearing something appropriate and just the way he was sitting made it so that he could see her cleavage better. Seriously. You're ignorant and a sexist ass.
HE is ignorant? Please. Stop being so close-minded and get off your feminist high horse and realize that women CAN and SHOULD be blamed for things like this. If she is dressing like that, it's on purpose, end of story. You don't dress like that without wanting people to notice. My guess is that she wanted one of her co-workers to notice and not her boss, but that's her fault. Should he have said anything? No. But it is indeed HER fault for dressing that way. As "lazorzpewpew" stated it's INCREDIBLY unprofessional and just screams slut. Unfortunately the guy is always in the wrong here. No matter what. Even if a girl would come into work dressed in a bikini, if any guy said anything, she could sue for sexual harassment. It fuckin pisses me off.
I'm sorry you don't understand the concept of business casual / professional dress code. I hope that job at McDonalds has good 401K, "Miss" I_Love_Isms. There are rules of etiquette that you clearly do not understand or are not mature enough to comprehend. I never said she deserves to be harassed / degraded (although I know a number of women who love compliments... guess you are not one), but I think it's moronic to not dress proper and expect proper treatment.
Wow, you're incredibly condescending. There are plenty of appropriate shirts for woman that, if looked at an awkward angle (ie. sitting on the edge of the desk and leaning towards her chest) can reveal some cleavage. Especially if she's naturally well-endowed. Do you expect her to wear a turtle-neck every day? It's his place, as her superior supervisor/boss to pull her aside in private if he feels what she's wearing is less than appropriate for the workplace and to ask her to wear something with more coverage. Even if she is in the wrong, she is the employee and he is the boss, he is expected to live by the same code of conduct you're claiming she's neglecting to obey. Blow it out your ass.
How do you know that where she works they don't have a "casual friday" or that they don't have to exactly wear "business attire?" Regardless of what she wore, her boss shouldn't make comments like that and should know that it's completely inappropriate. That's like blaming a woman for being raped because she was wearing something seductive. Doesn't matter what she wore, yeah sure she shouldn't be walking the streets in clothing like that but it still doesn't justify a man getting all crazy and raping her.
Thank you for a reasonable response!! Honestly this doesn't have to be her fault...
hahaha, that's effin hilarious mang! on a more serious note, "Why so serious son?" which means, k wtf are you doing u cant take a hint to cover up a bit more or what? If it was -that- disturbing and gutwrenching of an experience for you, OP, then talk to the Manager about it and clear it up
You have no fucking idea how she was dressed. This is VICTIM BLAMING and it causes more problems than it solves. No woman ever deserves sexual harassment in the workplace. If there was a problem with how she was dressed, it should have been brought up privately (and much more politely). The way her boss behaved is INAPPROPRIATE and ILLEGAL. Shut your FUCKING mouth you misogynist dickweed. -a man.
As much as high shirts can not reveal cleavage they can actually emphasise cleavage for well endowed women. If I were a high cut shirt then all you see is a mass of breasts underneath my neck, very distracting for men, whereas if I were a lower cut top then it is actually less distracting. Perhaps the OP is a well endowed woman, you don't know. Also if you have a large bust then even with a high shirt you can sometimes still see cleavage especially from a higher angle, such as if you are sitting and someone else is standing, since breasts actually push a shirt out. If the OP was wearing a button up top and is well endowed she would have to wear a shirt that was quite large so it doesn't gape in front and that may cause it to sit out so you can see her cleavage when looking from above, as implied in this FML. Just a thought before you go accusing her since I've faced sexual harassment with my boss looking straight DOWN my top even when wearing something that completely covered me when you were looking at me from the front.
-heavy sigh- Okay, first and foremost; yes, you're right, they don't know what she was wearing. But neither do you. Shut up. If you wear a shirt to show cleavage and then complain about comments or looks, oh, damn. If you wear a shirt for comfort (like if it's extremely hot outside or you hate sleeves, or whatever) and it happens to have a bit of cleavage and complain about comments or looks, I feel your pain. If you're wearing something completely appropriate and someone happens to be looking down your shirt and you complain about comments or looks, more power to you as you punch a bitch out for being INappropriate. If you're wearing something because it's sleek and stylish and it has a slight bit of cleavage (which is less or a problem for flat-chested women and much more of a problem for, say, very well endowed women) and you complain about comments or looks, that kinda goes right along with the comfort thing. Some shirts, while being appropriate and/or comfortable, happen to have cleavage. They're boobs. They fucking do that. Unless you're wearing something semi high-collared, you're probably going to run into that problem here and there. Fact: Several high-collared shirts are boring. This is why sleeveless turtlenecks in cooler climates are very nifty, because they look quite nice and you can't get bitched out for 'em. However, some people, shockingly enough, wear extremely low cut clothing ON PURPOSE and then complain about getting stared at, or getting comments. So...yeah. Thank you, that is all for today. Also, OP: Depending on if you wore something low cut to show your cleavage or if you wore something that happened to have a bit (or showed quite a bit at awkward angles), either YDI or FYL, respectively. In any case, LOL moment. Because that kinda sucks.
who ever said she was in a professional business? Maybe she works in an office where everyone dresses down. And often, women's clothing is MADE to show cleavage, and it's often difficult to find shirts that properly cover one's entire chest, especially if you have rather large breasts. Fashion is meant to show off women's bodies. If she wears baggy clothes she's called a lesbian and told "Why don't you dress more feminine and show off that nice body of yours?" Catch 22.
Degraded? If you intentionally expose your breasts, it's because you WANT PEOPLE TO SEE THEM. That's how it fucking works. If you want people to see your breasts, and someone compliments them, it's just that--a compliment. That said, the comment was definitely inappropriate for the workplace, but apparently so was her choice of clothing. If she had come in to work with her thong showing above her panties and someone said "nice ass," it would be the same thing.
Sometimes victim blaming is appropriate. If you think you can do whatever you want with no consequences - even if those consequences are themselves illegal - then I invite you to walk around in Chinatown with your eyes taped up shouting "Ching chong! Ching chong!" or go to *anywhere* and start saying, "Hey wat up niggah!" to everyone you come across. They'll beat your ass. It's assault and battery. It's still your fucking fault. If you're a woman and you show your boobs, don't expect people not to notice.
I_Love_Isms, you go, girl!!! :) i totally agree with you... i hatee how lazorzpewpew and justsignedup called you out like that. i was so offended!! and was like, "you did NOT just say that!" keep with your point and don't listen to them...they're just haters. lol. laurisshnazzy, you're cool, too. keep with your point and don't listen to them, also. :) love these girls and i fully support [all of] their opinions!!! xoxox.
I kind of went back to this comment as well. Your analogy is 100% incorrect. If you go be racist towards the Chinese or African Americans, they are the victims of your harassment. So are you saying it is okay to blame the Chinese or African Americans for having their skin color? Wait, no, that wasn't what you were saying. You said that because a woman has boobs, she should be blamed if they are showing a bit and "attract" the harassment. Just consider rape. You are basically saying a woman who dresses a little revealing deserves to be raped if it was for that reason. Like, be aware that by default men will rape you, men don't have to do anything, women just need to take all the precautions to prevent it. Ridiculous.
no he's not There should be no cleavage at all, no matter how close he was to her. Think about it, he was just at the edge of her desk, about the same distance as If she was to give a handshake to a potential client, and I don't think the cleavage would help convince the client to do business with that particular company
Considering she considers this as an FML, I think we can all deduce that she ISN'T wear revealing clothing (or if she is, then it wasn't her intention for her body to shout "I'm a slut, stare at my boobs"). She didn't like it. If she wore skimpy clothes for the intention of people staring below her neck, then she'd consider this a compliment. The boss could've just kept his perverted comment to himself. He can't stop himself from thinking perversely, but he can shut up. And yes, the law states that THIS is sexual harassment because men don't know how to simply respect women and decide to hit below the belt.
This isn't Arabia. This is America, and shit like this isn't (or shouldn't) be tolerated. It's a right guaranteed to its citizens that you have the right to live your life how you want without feeling threatened in any physical, mental or verbal way by someone else. Maybe the girl was wearing something that showed a little bit of skin; her boss is the one who made the comment. If he had kept his mouth shut, HE could be the one who is in the perfect position to claim sexual harassment.
Perhaps the OP misunderstood. Maybe the boss was trying to speak in a warning matter, like saying, "Nice cleavage," to let her know he'd noticed the inappropriate amount visible. And the followup, "Keep that up," was indeed meant to be applied to her shirt, as in, 'keep that up over your breasticles, please.'
Well, if you were ever interested in knowing what your best assets are, now you know.
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HAHA what an awesome boss. You two are obviously comfortable enough to strike up casual conversation at work, so really, if you report him for sexual harrassment you are just a bitch...
A casual conversation should not entail unsolicited comments about her breasts. Besides, its her BOSS. You arent supposed to get involved with employers and obviously the comment made her feel uncomfortable. Nobody should have to deal with sexual harassment in the work place just because they have a casual conversation talking about MOVIES. OP wouldnt be a bitch, she would be acting well within her rights. If OP was your daughter or sister you wouldnt call her a bitch and say she over reacted!