Today, I got a message from the girl I like. She told me to never...

By Anonymous - 14/12/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I got a message from the girl I like. She told me to never speak to her again and not even look at her any more. Apparently the letter I wrote to her was perverted, vile and nasty. I never wrote her a letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41849

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Intimacy

Rock, hard place

All for nothing

Alexa, play "The Lovecats" by The Cure

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 16:01 - United States

Today, it's my two year anniversary with my wife. She's celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/12/2011 18:44 - United States

Today, our Christmas tree was damaged beyond repair after my son and his friends borrowed it for a little experiment. They tied balloons to the branches and tried to make it fly, after seeing a similar video online. FML

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By Denki - 30/1/2013 12:21 - China - Beijing

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/7/2013 16:49 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML

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By whatismydadthinking - 6/8/2009 08:45 - Australia

Today, I was introduced to my future stepmother, but it turns out that I already know her. Not only are we the same age and went to the same high school, when we were in the same math class together the teacher would often confuse our names because "we could pass as twins". FML

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By Anonymous - 18/1/2016 14:24 - Philippines - Philippine

Today, while entering in my college building, I noticed that my right shoelace was untied and I tied it. I didn't realize that just in front of me was a metal beam until I hit my head hard on it and a loud, reverberating sound was produced. Many people saw what happened. FML

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By foreveryoung - 30/4/2016 16:23 - France

Today, a weird guy approached me and started asking me many questions. I didn't know how to get out of this situation, so I suddenly ran away shouting, "Stranger danger! " I'm 21. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/5/2009 06:45 - Canada

Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML

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By jada - 4/1/2012 23:29 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend over and over again and he never answered. His mom just called me and asked how I was holding up. I asked her what she meant and she had to tell me he checked himself into rehab because he was addicted to heroin. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/6/2013 03:19 - United States - Warsaw

Today, my co-workers figured out that I was in high school when my husband was in kindergarten. They won't stop calling me a "cougar". FML

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By Anonymous - 23/10/2019 19:00 - United States - Portland

Treat your pets properly!

Today, I had an argument with my dad about how Alpo dog food is trash and is why his dog keeps having terrible farts and diarrhea. My dad refuses to believe me, so now I'm always scrubbing vile, smelly, mucous-laden dog diarrhea out of the carpet. I'm a pet nutritionist. FML

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By Whoops... - 2/9/2018 14:30

Today, my breakfast disagreed with me and I shit myself unexpectedly at the laundromat, right after starting the washer with all of my other pants in it. FML

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By WhoLikesPie - 25/7/2015 15:51 - United States - Tampa

Today, I went to my girlfriend's job to surprise her for lunch, her manager said she hasn't worked on a Saturday in two months. FML

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31169

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By MerryChristmas - 15/7/2018 14:30 - United States - Moore

Today, I went to a Christmas-themed amusement park with my 21-year-old autistic sister who adores Christmas. She took her picture with Santa and started crying happy tears. Then Santa asked her loudly, "Aren't you beyond old enough to know I'm not real?" Vacation ruined. FML

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5501

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By Midge - 16/3/2010 23:03 - United States

Today, as I was pulling out of the school parking lot I was blasting my music and feeling pretty awesome, I got a few honks and felt even cooler. Until some lady pulled up next to me and told me I had left my binder on the roof and all my papers were all over the road behind me. FML

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By newlysingle - 14/12/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

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By balletteacher - 8/9/2012 20:32 - United States

Today, I realized my acne looks like star constellations. I've already found the Little Dipper on my left cheek. FML

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By Belt issues - 9/6/2016 12:21 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I took a train for 5 hours to a remote northern community. My belt broke as I was getting off the train. I went to the only store and bought a new belt. Taking it off to go to bed, the new belt broke. I have to go visit clients today with a shoestring holding up my pants. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/1/2012 18:09 - Canada

Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML

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By Username - 15/6/2011 01:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

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42209

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By Noname - 29/10/2011 11:02 - United States

Today, I drove home on my birthday, and my mom said she'd meet me there. I was a little surprised to get home and find she wasn't there, but even more shocked to see my rabbit run over in my driveway. Turns out he'd gotten loose and my mom had run him over, panicked, and left. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/6/2017 22:00

Today, I woke up early to weird scratching and smacking noises. After gathering enough courage to check what it was, I found out it was just an ant stuck on a piece of paper. FML

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By ocdeane - 1/10/2019 22:00 - Germany - Mainz

Disgusting

Today, I noticed a disgusting, cheesy smell and spent all day wondering what it was. I later found out that it wasn't coming from my feet, but from my belly button. My surgery wound got infected. I'm a germaphobe. FML

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By becca - 21/8/2010 04:04 - United States

Today, I spent five minutes waiting by a stop sign. The two cars in front of me were taking a long time to move, so I began beeping and getting angry. Turns out, these cars were parked and I was holding up a line of traffic. FML

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By bdavis - 10/3/2010 06:11 - Canada

Today, I was using a power drill to take down the set for the musical we just finished. My long hair got caught in the drill, got ripped out and now I have a hurting, bleeding bald spot the size of 2 quarters. FML

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By BEE - 10/10/2009 22:35 - United States

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

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By imok - 7/10/2009 17:58 - United States

Today, I was at the Salvation Army when I saw a wheelchair in the miscellaneous aisle. I thought it would be fun to ride around in it. As I was wheeling it back to where I found it, I made it back just as it's owner was hobbling out of the dressing room. FML

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8406

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By crissy becks - 5/8/2012 22:05 - United States - Inglewood

Today, my friends and I planned to go to a waterpark together. However, due to a "miscommunication," I, and only I, was given both the wrong time and the wrong meeting place. I spent three hours sitting in a parking lot in little more than my swimming suit. FML

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By heartbroken - 23/1/2013 13:57 - Australia - Chatswood

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower and his phone was buzzing with calls and texts. Concerned as his nan is in ICU, I picked it up to find he's been secretly sexting his ex-girlfriend. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/12/2011 07:14 - Australia

Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML

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By Tom - 25/11/2010 13:28

Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/4/2013 15:20 - United States

Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/4/2016 20:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, through a mutual friend, I met the girl of my dreams. After flirting and exchanging numbers with her, my friend confessed that she's liked me since the day we met. Now the girl of my dreams doesn't want to pursue a relationship with me out of respect for our friend. FML

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By justgivemethed - 25/4/2013 07:55 - United States - Westminster

Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML

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By mrniceguy - 23/2/2010 18:57 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML

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42980

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By caliibbyy - 29/11/2010 05:03

Today, I found out my best friend has a massive head lice infestation. It wasn't until after I'd used her hairbrush to brush my hair that I figured it out. FML

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27983

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By RIP_Nose - 3/4/2014 21:48 - Germany - Aidenbach

Today, I was supervising a written exam, which took place in a really warm room. Half of the two hundred participants has probably never heard of deodorants. The other half used probably the whole can this morning. I had to stay in this inferno of stench for five hours. FML

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By Master Debater - 1/2/2013 11:05 - Australia

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

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26942

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By Username - 1/9/2010 00:35 - France

Today, I was life guarding at a community pool and noticed a toddler go under water. I quickly jumped in and suddenly got a charlie horse which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/9/2009 12:00 - Australia

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his friends for the first time. My boyfriend went into the kitchen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking for him. I discovered his friend holding two melons to his chest, mid explanation on how they look exactly like mine. FML

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Top comments

By kaprookie | 3

#1842261 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 12:09

Shit! I knew i sent that letter to the wrong person, Sorry OP.

By TckleMePinkFloyd | 0

#1842240 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 12:07

That sucks! Maybe it was somone messing with you, if they know u like her... Kids can be dicks to eachother...

COMMENTS

By TckleMePinkFloyd | 0

#1842240 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 12:07

That sucks! Maybe it was somone messing with you, if they know u like her... Kids can be dicks to eachother...

mamamiaaa_fml | 12

#1842400 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 12:28

it's probably your best friend who also likes this girl and suspects that she may like you too so he decided to act. everythings fair in love and war. (this statement is sooo untrue) so go do something about it.

TheRealFamilyGuy | 5

#1842426 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 12:31

who the fuck writes letters anyway?

LittleMonsterSam | 5

#1842631 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 12:51

#12 I know right!

mamamiaaa_fml | 12

#1842642 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 12:53

I do. with my feathered quill.

LittleMonsterSam | 5

#1842704 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 12:59

our point exactly

mamamiaaa_fml | 12

#1842843 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 13:26

23-you win this time. but watch out. I'll remember what you look like. a brown um thing. 

jiggyjiggz | 0

#1842951 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 14:01

Your image is disturbing.

jiggyjiggz | 0

#1842961 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 14:03

33 meant for 23

collegegirl87 | 0

#1843336 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 15:58

Haha 20, I actually have a feathered quill pen.

LittleMonsterSam | 5

#1852379 - Thursday 16 December 2010 8:45

28- I think you are talking about your mother.

mamamiaaa_fml | 12

#1852557 - Thursday 16 December 2010 9:20

59-how did you know?!?! you're smarter then you look.

grigz | 0

#1853149 - Thursday 16 December 2010 13:01

He appears to be a blanket.

By kaprookie | 3

#1842261 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 12:09

Shit! I knew i sent that letter to the wrong person, Sorry OP.

mamamiaaa_fml | 12

#1842417 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 12:29

ooo was it to me?! I want a vile nasty letter!!

White_Fury | 0

#1842547 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 12:45

11 I've sent you like 7 already... are you not getting them??

mamamiaaa_fml | 12

#1842679 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 12:56

oh really? well were they handwritten? I can only read handwritten letters.

White_Fury | 0

#1842760 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 13:07

All of them. I used my handy dandy notebook and spongebob pen!

PiMpMySaLaD | 0

#1842763 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 13:08

do you have a writing/hand fetish??

mamamiaaa_fml | 12

#1842848 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 13:28

yes I do and it's insatiable. I also love sharpening pencils. but then again who doesn't?! uhh. yeah.

onlywhenyourdrea | 0

#1842859 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 13:30

omg I totally love sharpening pencils!

mamamiaaa_fml | 12

#1842881 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 13:35

omgomgomg!!! but only #2 pencils!!!

Hayman68 | 4

#1843186 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 15:22

yep, i tried sharpening a #1 to see what it was like and it was horrible.

By timtamslam | 19

#1842265 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 12:09

so someones writing letters to her on your behalf and you didn't know it... creepy :s

lem6w3 | 0

#1842350 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 12:21

very.

iSitt | 0

#1843397 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 16:04

The op wrote it when he's asleep.
check your desk and you'll find used airplane tickets and receipts from when you started secret anarchist groups all over the country.

By Naitras | 15

#1842291 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 12:11

ouch. try and explain your side?

By ScreamAimFire | 0

#1842302 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 12:11

Don't worry you never had a chance anyway, hope your day gets better!

By x_Cupcakes | 0

#1842312 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 12:13

Well, I guess your chances with her are ruined...

By alaaloo_fml_fml | 0

#1842317 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 12:13

Aw. Sounds like someone has it out for you OP.

By Cinn_fml | 22

#1842329 - Tuesday 14 December 2010 12:17

If you really think it's worth it, explain it wasn't you. Might be an idea to find out who wrote it though, sounds like someone was messing with you, or it might've been given to the wrong girl.