Today, my apartment has been echoing all day with the wails of my cat, Butters. He's yet again managed to trap himself in the umbrella stand. In the past, he has eventually gotten himself out, but this time I think I might have to use a hacksaw. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML
Today, I thought I heard a nasty storm brewing, even though there was no warning that one would occur. I then realized it was one of my cats, stuck behind a chair and trying to escape with little success. Yes, her escape attempts were that noisy. FML
Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML
Today, I got home from a long day at work, hoping to just fix dinner and relax, only to find that my cat had come into the house with a rabbit, and is now stuck underneath the cabinet. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML
Today, my cat somehow managed to lock me out of my apartment by jumping on the doorknob while I was taking the trash out. I had to call a locksmith, and now it's like my cat won't even come near at me, like I betrayed him for allowing a stranger into our home. FML
Today, my cat tried to look outside the window in my room by climbing on top of the air conditioner. It's already rather flimsy, as she had broken the accordions with her clumsiness last year. But this time, she somehow managed to make the AC fall out of the window, and she followed along with it. FML
Today, I closed my bedroom door before I went to work this morning so my cat wouldn't chew on the cords in there. When I got back, I couldn't find my other cat anywhere. I went to my bedroom and heard her yelling. She was in there, stuck there all morning and afternoon. Oops. FML
Today, my cat got his head stuck in the handle of a plastic bag while snooping. Unfortunately, it was the bag I use to put his turds in after scooping them from the litter tray. With the bag trapped around his neck, he got spooked, then ran around the house, spreading turds from the bag as he fled. FML
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Top comments
zombicidal 11
everyone knows its butters "that's me"
stevenJB 25
Lol. All i see is the irony of his cat named "butters" is stuck and can't get free. :3 obvious I know, but i felt like pointing it out.
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Comments (210)
evilplatypus 39
Your cat is awesome. Mine would probably be dumb enough to do that if we had an umbrella stand. I think she's "special," if you get my drift.
TarieBoo 2
herf cat is IN the stand...but if your cat does it he's dumb?...
evilplatypus 39
You seem to be under the impression that dumb animals (or people) cannot be awesome. The two are not mutually exclusive.
linjizzy 6
Oh hamburgers!!
ArielTheMermaid 17
Yo dawg I heard you like butter so I buttered your cat named Butters so you could have butter on your Butters (wow that was awful)
br0ccoli 15
Butter will make a fat kitty when he licks it off! Is there a low calorie version?
zuzupetalsYO 11
It's nice of you to take time out to write this FML. I'm sure Butter's appreciates that. Hope you got him out.
Briiyahh 7
Sorry about that things get better though! :)
goose12321 11
Hahahahaha it's funny how they always get themselves stuck crawling into weird places.
Spazz420 7
That's what u get for naming ur cat Butters
chopachop 2
Look, the thing is.. You own an umbrella stand, anyone who owns one of these deserves it. Whatever it is.
CRC_101 31
Wait... You need an umbrella stand in South Africa?! *gasp!*
fadingaway 17
What's so gaspworthy about that?