Today, my apartment has been echoing all day with the wails of my cat, Butters. He's yet again managed to trap himself in the umbrella stand. In the past, he has eventually gotten himself out, but this time I think I might have to use a hacksaw. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML
Today, I thought I heard a nasty storm brewing, even though there was no warning that one would occur. I then realized it was one of my cats, stuck behind a chair and trying to escape with little success. Yes, her escape attempts were that noisy. FML
Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML
Today, I got home from a long day at work, hoping to just fix dinner and relax, only to find that my cat had come into the house with a rabbit, and is now stuck underneath the cabinet. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML
Today, my cat somehow managed to lock me out of my apartment by jumping on the doorknob while I was taking the trash out. I had to call a locksmith, and now it's like my cat won't even come near at me, like I betrayed him for allowing a stranger into our home. FML
Today, my cat tried to look outside the window in my room by climbing on top of the air conditioner. It's already rather flimsy, as she had broken the accordions with her clumsiness last year. But this time, she somehow managed to make the AC fall out of the window, and she followed along with it. FML
Today, I closed my bedroom door before I went to work this morning so my cat wouldn't chew on the cords in there. When I got back, I couldn't find my other cat anywhere. I went to my bedroom and heard her yelling. She was in there, stuck there all morning and afternoon. Oops. FML
Today, my cat got his head stuck in the handle of a plastic bag while snooping. Unfortunately, it was the bag I use to put his turds in after scooping them from the litter tray. With the bag trapped around his neck, he got spooked, then ran around the house, spreading turds from the bag as he fled. FML
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Top comments
zombicidal 11
everyone knows its butters "that's me"
stevenJB 25
Lol. All i see is the irony of his cat named "butters" is stuck and can't get free. :3 obvious I know, but i felt like pointing it out.
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Comments (210)
doodlecloud 27
You deserve it for not ditching the umbrella stand. I mean if it's happened multiple times then you should either get rid of it move it somewhere your cat can't get to it for his safety. : ( It's not exactly like it's a vital piece of furniture...
KiddNYC1O 22
What about a wabbit?
ApologyKick 25
Yes, but according to the FML Butters is a little preoccupied at the moment and wasn't able to post this himself
fat_bastard_607 0
Lansing?
morthug 11
Who the hell names their cat "Butters"?!!"
I_heart_sex 1
Can we use margarine instead?
RoughJustice 0
Or you could get a dog, shoot the cat and do the world a favor.
princessrae 0
My cat is also named Butters!
aquaman95 7
hilarious my cats name is butters.sorry about the situation though
gracevet88 0
Use butter on butters