Today, my 9 year old niece asked me if I was a virgin. I told her, "Yes, I'm saving myself until marriage". She replied, "That's a load of bullshit, you just can't get a guy!" Sadly, she's right. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML
Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML
Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML
Today, just like at every gynecologist's appointment in the last 5 years, I had to yet again explain that no, I'm not a virgin at 27 because I'm waiting till marriage, I'm just a loser that no-one wants to sleep with. FML
Today, every boyfriend I’ve ever had dumped me because they realised I was serious about saving myself until marriage. I’m now in my late 30s, single, and childless. My sister, whose knickers were up and down like a yo-yo in high school, is happily married with 3 great kids. Religion is for idiots. FML
Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML
Today, my five year-old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML
Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML
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Top comments
iBad 0
she said bullshit at 9 years old?
666midnight 0
haha, can't lie to kids XD
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Comments (197)
maria12_fml 0
# 54 if someone was 9 they'd be in 3rd or 4th grade and you learn about sex and puberty and stuff in 6th, it was only last year when I signed the permission form for my daughter.
letitbe56 0
Oh please do better than that. I first learned about sex etc. in first grade from my best friend. She drew me a detailed picture two people doing it and everything. Shocked the hell out of my parents. And nowadays there's not much they won't say on TV about sex. If you don't know what she's watching or what her friends are telling her at school, you have no idea what she knows or thinks, and it's your job to know what she knows and thinks so you can make sure she's safe. If you think your 6th grader never knew about sex until you signed that permission slip, you are a damn poor parent. Girls are going through puberty at younger and younger ages (ie, menstruating at age 8) now, because of the hormones that get put in food and because extra weight tends to trigger the puberty process. According to the CDC, up to 10% of teens report that they had intercourse for the first time before age 13. Don't be one of those parents who realizes their 13 year old is sexually active when she comes home from school one day with an STD or pregnant.
Cloudy_fml 0
Actually, I got sex-ed in 4th grade. Granted, it wasn't as detailed as in middle school.
Gringo_fml 0
oi i'll do you
captainbj2 0
desperate much?
shhhhhhh 0
why in the hell dose a 9yr old know about sex?
deliapearl 0
OP, you've got nothing to be ashamed of. however, your niece will be a ***** if she isn't already
lil_miz_liz09 0
lmao! how the hell does a 9 year old know about virginity and sex anyway? but this made me laugh soo hard (:
bob1233 0
haha i agreee.
murdermygymsox 0
Tell her I told you so when she's 16 and pregnant.
Einstein714 0
dress sleazy and hang out at the club at closing time and you won't have a problem getting laid
akiro525 3
wow a 9 yearold who knws the words "virgin","bullshit", when i was 9 all i knew was pokemon :PXD
cucumberfabulous 7
Hahahahha I know! And the worse word I ever said was "butthead"
sarah_berah 0
I'm with y'all, when I was nine this was not something I would have said or even thought of! Whats with the decaying of this generations morals? I'm not trying to be all conservative and living in the 1850's but what happened to respecting your elders?!?
MiseryLotus 0
Why is a 9 year old saying bullshit?
Wheat 0
You deserve it for lying. Lying is baaad. Also, your sibling is a bad parent for exposing this child to obscenities.
your_face 15
Are you saying parents shouldn't send their kids to school, or take them into public? Obscenities can be heard from anyone of any age at the grocery store, a park, or pretty much any other public location; what do you suggest a good parent do?
letitbe56 0
A good parent should accept that their child will be exposed to these words, and make sure the child knows that it's not appropriate to say them.