Today, my 9 year old niece asked me if I was a virgin. I told her, "Yes, I'm saving myself until marriage". She replied, "That's a load of bullshit, you just can't get a guy!" Sadly, she's right. FML
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70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML
Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML
Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML
Today, just like at every gynecologist's appointment in the last 5 years, I had to yet again explain that no, I'm not a virgin at 27 because I'm waiting till marriage, I'm just a loser that no-one wants to sleep with. FML
Today, every boyfriend I’ve ever had dumped me because they realised I was serious about saving myself until marriage. I’m now in my late 30s, single, and childless. My sister, whose knickers were up and down like a yo-yo in high school, is happily married with 3 great kids. Religion is for idiots. FML
Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML
Today, my five year-old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML
Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML
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Top comments
iBad 0
she said bullshit at 9 years old?
666midnight 0
haha, can't lie to kids XD
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Comments (197)
ghotority 0
Wtf? I think I've read one like this before, I'm calling fake. Plus she's 9...
Jessaly_fml 0
"Well, at least you're honest."
midwestjerk 0
Your sister/brother is nothing but a shit parent if their kid feels it's OK to swear like that at an adult (or close to) at 9. Quality family you've got there, OP. Good luck with that.
littlemssvixen 3
Don't worry you're not alone... :S XD xxx
ladidadi 0
Why did you feel like you had to answer her question??? You don't talk about sex with 9 year olds! I would have just said "That's a personal question, I don't feel comfortable talking about that."
SirAwesome 0
YDI for lying to your niece about the lame saving yourself thing.
yougogailcoco 0
Well, for what its' worth, there's nothing wrong with saving yourself. That's actually a very good reason.
bowhuntpa 0
NICE MOUTH WHAT TRAILER PARK DID YA'LL CRAWL OUT OF
irishdubr 0
I'm calling bullshit
Paintballer714 0
its alright you can always come talk to me i can help you out