Today, my 9 year old niece asked me if I was a virgin. I told her, "Yes, I'm saving myself until marriage". She replied, "That's a load of bullshit, you just can't get a guy!" Sadly, she's right. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML
Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML
Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML
Today, just like at every gynecologist's appointment in the last 5 years, I had to yet again explain that no, I'm not a virgin at 27 because I'm waiting till marriage, I'm just a loser that no-one wants to sleep with. FML
Today, every boyfriend I’ve ever had dumped me because they realised I was serious about saving myself until marriage. I’m now in my late 30s, single, and childless. My sister, whose knickers were up and down like a yo-yo in high school, is happily married with 3 great kids. Religion is for idiots. FML
Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML
Today, my five year-old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML
Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML
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Top comments
iBad 0
she said bullshit at 9 years old?
666midnight 0
haha, can't lie to kids XD
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Comments (197)
LadyAlathia 0
And then you shoved a bar of Irish Spring down her throat, right?
stephaniexamber 0
I am kind of shocked that the 9 yr old would say something like that. My 9 yr old niece better never talk to me like that, I'll smack the shit out of her.
Tubasaurus 0
lol at the people offended by a nine year-old using a "bad" word. It's a word, get over yourselves please.
fakefinder 0
fake.
epicfail13337 4
It would be necessary to know how old the OP is in this FML. If she is sad about being a virgin, she is probably around 20. Or if she hangs out with ******, maybe 13! LOL!
YungMarlon23 0
instead of worryin bout yur 9 yr old niece sayin crap to insult yu like that, yu should wonder where she found it ok to say "bullshit" at age 9.
islaphippos 0
let's **** OP
xxXChiiXxx 2
I'd be more worried about where you niece learned about sex and the word, "bullshit". :/
kgy 0
her parents r obviously not teaching her right
NiNjAMoNsTeR 0
ok 1 why is there a 9 year old saying " bullshit " and why does she already know about sex damn thats one ****** up child