Today, my 9 year old niece asked me if I was a virgin. I told her, "Yes, I'm saving myself until marriage". She replied, "That's a load of bullshit, you just can't get a guy!" Sadly, she's right. FML
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70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML
Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML
Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML
Today, just like at every gynecologist's appointment in the last 5 years, I had to yet again explain that no, I'm not a virgin at 27 because I'm waiting till marriage, I'm just a loser that no-one wants to sleep with. FML
Today, every boyfriend I’ve ever had dumped me because they realised I was serious about saving myself until marriage. I’m now in my late 30s, single, and childless. My sister, whose knickers were up and down like a yo-yo in high school, is happily married with 3 great kids. Religion is for idiots. FML
Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML
Today, my five year-old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML
Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML
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Top comments
iBad 0
she said bullshit at 9 years old?
666midnight 0
haha, can't lie to kids XD
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Comments (197)
aprilpointblank 0
Wow i never knew any of this stuff when i was 9..well i knew what sex was but i didn't know the term "virgin". Im sure i knew the word bullshit too but i would have never said it to an adult.
amodelqueso 0
Sorry, but this one sounds sooo fake to me.
mas19 0
your neice is a bitchy little girl who shouldn't know what the word virgin means yet.
Trocki 0
EVERY guy I know (including myself) has a list of friends (maybe even themselves) who would screw anything with a pulse. The type of guys who walk into a room and the fish in the fishbowl stop swimming. Stop complaining to your friends and crying yourself to sleep every night and find a guy you don't know and ask him if he knows anyone that would screw your brains out "no strings attached". Problem solved.
justanotherhuman 21
ahh... yeah. Trocki pretty much got it spot-on. When will all women learn to pass on the secret to the next gen that they will *always* be able to get laid faster than even Kirk could in his prime? That no matter *what* you think of yourself appearance-wise, ladies... there's a male-genitalia counterpart eager, and... *nearby*, to serve.
justanotherhuman 21
Dear OP, Assuming by "get" a guy you mean find a decent male to have a stable relationship with and not just sex, then harsh. But no worries- I know one or two ladies that are so hot little girls want to *be* them straight-up GEM style, annnnnd they can't "get" a guy in that sense either. So it isn't a physical thing, darlin'. Just haven't found your one yet. And while yes, pun overtly intended, I'm being sincere. It's not easy to find anyone to trust with friendship, let alone to share our bodies and hearts with. Don't knock yourself if it hasn't happened yet.
copey 0
ownded by a 9 year old
nam2012 0
hhehehhe . m sorry for that - dont worry be happy :P
tbig98 0
hey i wud love to help u change that message me
ile2010 0
A 9 year old that talks like that (even without swearing) deserves punishment.
ilikepie789 0
thats a lie