Today, my 9 year old niece asked me if I was a virgin. I told her, "Yes, I'm saving myself until marriage". She replied, "That's a load of bullshit, you just can't get a guy!" Sadly, she's right. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML
Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML
Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML
Today, just like at every gynecologist's appointment in the last 5 years, I had to yet again explain that no, I'm not a virgin at 27 because I'm waiting till marriage, I'm just a loser that no-one wants to sleep with. FML
Today, every boyfriend I’ve ever had dumped me because they realised I was serious about saving myself until marriage. I’m now in my late 30s, single, and childless. My sister, whose knickers were up and down like a yo-yo in high school, is happily married with 3 great kids. Religion is for idiots. FML
Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML
Today, my five year-old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML
Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML
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Top comments
iBad 0
she said bullshit at 9 years old?
666midnight 0
haha, can't lie to kids XD
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Comments (197)
beethoven_fml 0
lmao awesome
XvxvX 0
Dont lie next time.. Or, lie and say u arent a virgin...
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
Are peoples' lives so great that they must repeat/copy past FMLs? /:
DACouture 0
Dang what a mouth on her.
360_93 0
Slap that kid for its foul language.
cRothabeast 0
thats true. except shes a she not an it. i hate how disrespectful little kids have gotten these days
letitbe56 0
It's the parents. No one disciplines their kids anymore. They don't seem to understand that boundaries are necessary for teaching your child appropriate behavior.
Nightfallz 0
really there's nothing special about being first. this was a good fml till I saw that
xoxo9171 0
kind of a rude
angorashi 0
Your niece is awesome.
BlerbFace306 0
not surprised that she said bullshit, if she's nine and knows to ask about virginity...
BigBlueMonster 0
Aha, I love how smart kids are today.