Today, my 9 year old niece asked me if I was a virgin. I told her, "Yes, I'm saving myself until marriage". She replied, "That's a load of bullshit, you just can't get a guy!" Sadly, she's right. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML
Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML
Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML
Today, just like at every gynecologist's appointment in the last 5 years, I had to yet again explain that no, I'm not a virgin at 27 because I'm waiting till marriage, I'm just a loser that no-one wants to sleep with. FML
Today, every boyfriend I’ve ever had dumped me because they realised I was serious about saving myself until marriage. I’m now in my late 30s, single, and childless. My sister, whose knickers were up and down like a yo-yo in high school, is happily married with 3 great kids. Religion is for idiots. FML
Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML
Today, my five year-old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML
Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
iBad 0
she said bullshit at 9 years old?
666midnight 0
haha, can't lie to kids XD
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (197)
jewjewbee 6
Your niece is kind of my hero. Don't worry OP, you're not alone :/
TheRoflMonster 0
Pottymouth!
paralyzingsilenc 0
lmao fyl for sure
wowfmlife 0
its wouldnt be a FML if you actually were waiting...maybe you should just decide to so it doesnt seem so pathetic and teach that kid some manners
kira822_fml 0
She's a potty mouth. I bet she can't even get a playdate.
aback 5
Just say, "No--are you?"
letitbe56 0
You might get some scary answers to that question, unfortunately.
aback 5
Too true. But then she can get the lil'bitch a bunch of home pregnancy tests for Christmas. :D
Cupcake10 0
Your neice needs an ass whupping for being disrespectful. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to wait. It's an honorable decision. Next time just tell her to mind her own damn business
jduff 1
YDI no one should be a virgin once you're old enough to drive, give me a call and I'll accomodate you
hiphiphooray 0
You seem like a bit of a prick.
kennythedude 3
Yeah, what the heck.
letitbe56 0
This is one of those FML's where it's actually useful to know how old the OP is. 16? 20? 24? Plenty of my friends were still virgins when I was 20 because they understood that losing that dreaded status of virgin wasn't really the point of sex. I'm not 24 yet, and I can only think of a few people I know who are still virgins, and pretty much for the same reason. OP, in my experience, if you just get out there and have a social life, you'll find a guy. It's much, much easier if you relax and be yourself and not worry too much about dating. Dating is awkward and painful if you try to force a relationship out of the first interested guy with a pulse. So make friends and have fun, and eventually you'll click with someone. And, I gotta say, YDI for lying. Just a simple "yes" would have done it.
z_vet 0
Children are very smart, LOL.