Today, my 9 year old niece asked me if I was a virgin. I told her, "Yes, I'm saving myself until marriage". She replied, "That's a load of bullshit, you just can't get a guy!" Sadly, she's right. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML
Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML
Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML
Today, just like at every gynecologist's appointment in the last 5 years, I had to yet again explain that no, I'm not a virgin at 27 because I'm waiting till marriage, I'm just a loser that no-one wants to sleep with. FML
Today, every boyfriend I’ve ever had dumped me because they realised I was serious about saving myself until marriage. I’m now in my late 30s, single, and childless. My sister, whose knickers were up and down like a yo-yo in high school, is happily married with 3 great kids. Religion is for idiots. FML
Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML
Today, my five year-old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML
Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML
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Top comments
iBad 0
she said bullshit at 9 years old?
666midnight 0
haha, can't lie to kids XD
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Comments (197)
AntiChrist7 0
Every girl can get a guy. It's probably not the guy you want, but you girls have the edge on that, compared to us men
fili450r 0
she is talking about her virginity....not a flat tire.....haha, just had to point it out...nice comparison though. =D
dlogan93 0
id be more upset about the fact that she 9 than you not getting a guy.
Wharfrat 0
Your 9 Y/O niece said THAT! And you feel bad about YOURSELF?? That kids parents are the ones who should be posting on here! Obnoxious lil twat!
jrl585 0
tell you niece that you lost your virgenety from a donkey at a mexicon donkey show lol
dirtylittlewolf 0
You need to slap that little kid and give them a spanking stuff like that should never come out a young person's mouth. If you wish to save yourself for marriage, kudos to you for having a strong will.
ihatestupidppl 0
Umm I'm pretty sure your sister or brother is the one who's life is actually ****** here, considering their 9 year old child is cursing and randomly asking people if they're virgins. Or maybe they deserve it for not raising their kid better...
Dukedj 0
There's no way this is even real. A nine year old wouldn't have that much knowledge of swear words and what virginity even means. Your life is ****** for being a ******* loser and making up things just so people will notice you. Go make some friends.
letitbe56 0
Wow, you don't remember being nine? I certainly knew those things when I was nine; the difference is I knew better than to say them.
jessiana7 0
When I was nine I knew all that stuff. I would never dare to say any of that shit though! When someone says something like that, you better believe the belt is gonna be whipped out.
um_duh 0
Kids are always so honest when they are that age...
Wharfrat 0
??? that comment was moronic.. you better go check out some 9 year olds or leave mayberry once and a while. You, sir are and ass.