Today, my 9 year old niece asked me if I was a virgin. I told her, "Yes, I'm saving myself until marriage". She replied, "That's a load of bullshit, you just can't get a guy!" Sadly, she's right. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML
Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML
Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML
Today, just like at every gynecologist's appointment in the last 5 years, I had to yet again explain that no, I'm not a virgin at 27 because I'm waiting till marriage, I'm just a loser that no-one wants to sleep with. FML
Today, every boyfriend I’ve ever had dumped me because they realised I was serious about saving myself until marriage. I’m now in my late 30s, single, and childless. My sister, whose knickers were up and down like a yo-yo in high school, is happily married with 3 great kids. Religion is for idiots. FML
Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML
Today, my five year-old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML
Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
iBad 0
she said bullshit at 9 years old?
666midnight 0
haha, can't lie to kids XD
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (197)
delly_fml 0
Ouch...
Dane_fml 0
Dude, yes.
jadedbastard 0
Never mind her saying the word "bullshit", more importantly, why the hell is a nine-year-old even thinking about this stuff? Shows how our society is going down the drain.
cooorah 0
... and she's nine? Classy.
Polygon 0
F the kids life for already cussing and talking about sex and losing your virginity at age 9.
bmx5S5 0
Lol
oliviah_fml 0
Really? Nine? This is much more of a FHL (**** her life). It's sad you can't get a guy. But being a virgin isn't a bad thing. A penis will never stimulate quite like a vibrator (which is 100% STD and baby free). (Hope all those words are allowed in comments.)
Sight 0
hahahaha! Smart kid
ChetSteadman 0
how many times can this same FML get posted? mods need to pick up their game
wanagetjagked 0
Try looking hott and go to clubs, who knows you might get laid!