Miscellaneous: Today, my 43 year old mother came home covered in hickeys. FML - FML

By chickenshit4 - 15/05/2016 00:57 - United States - Pine Ridge

Spicy

Today, my 43 year old mother came home covered in hickeys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 240

You deserved it 3 081

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/07/2013 18:03 - United States - Pleasantville

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 416

You deserved it 6 291

By feartheend511 - 19/08/2010 15:48 - United States

Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 149

You deserved it 3 652

By hickhick - 07/07/2019 04:00

Spicy

Today, I went to the doctor's office for a regular check up. They found "odd red marks" on the inside of my thighs. They started to think it might be a skin disease, so I had to explain to my mother and the doctor that it was hickeys from my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 358

You deserved it 1 717

Old dog, new tricks

By Anonymous - 06/09/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 909

You deserved it 46 991

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 232

You deserved it 3 318

By Anonymous - 24/09/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 565

You deserved it 2 945

By ouch - 12/07/2013 07:22 - United States

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 158

You deserved it 4 759

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 673

You deserved it 121

By IloveJapan - 02/04/2012 14:02 - Japan

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 429

You deserved it 10 139

Naughty girl

By Anonymous - 31/10/2019 14:00 - Canada - Prince George

Today, my mom found out that I got a tattoo two years ago. She got mad and spanked me. I'm 33 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 988

You deserved it 494

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Top comments

feven 32

Sunday 15 May 2016 18:55

Get it mom.

sayhisoph 26

Sunday 15 May 2016 18:50

I boxed off "glad it wasn't me" ... I really regret that. I wish it was me.

Comments

Muerteds 18

Tuesday 17 May 2016 2:57

Jealousy is a stinky cologne.

PuffPastry 8

Tuesday 17 May 2016 6:02

Dude, 43 isn't old at all. Of course she still has a sex life, shes human. Get over it.

sighlifeman 12

Tuesday 17 May 2016 7:24

43 isn't old you know she can have a life of her own.

Ise_fml 6

Tuesday 17 May 2016 9:42

How selfish are you for not wanting your mom to experience this? Love is amazing, and snuggling, kissing, and all the comes with is is as well. Be happy for her.

JamJamz 6

Tuesday 17 May 2016 12:04

Be happy your mom got laid. I wouldn't give a **** if that was my mom.

JimminyCrib 7

Thursday 19 May 2016 15:15

Soooooo she's single????

RealChewyPiano 18

Tuesday 24 May 2016 9:40

Ah yes sorry about that

dt2112 4

Tuesday 31 May 2016 22:05

Sounds like she's still got it! Good for her!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 028

You deserved it 5 457

Today, I thought I'd patched up the hole in my window pretty well. That is, until I heard a buzzing noise in my room. There was a huge ass bee that somehow got inside and was trying to escape. I would've helped, but I'm terrified of bees, and I'm now afraid to enter my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 180

The Top

Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished I jokingly said, "who's going to sleep in the wet patch?". He got up and said "you're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing". It was my first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 422

You deserved it 4 506

Today, I got yelled at by my boss for being insensitive to a customer. I'd told her I never heard of the requested item even existing. She walked off shouting, screaming and throwing stuff from the shelf. She wanted to order a bird feeder with heated perches so the bird's feet won't get cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 854

You deserved it 2 727

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 210

You deserved it 2 888

Today, my horrible boss sent me a Facebook friend request for the fifth time, in her attempt to not only bother me at work, but also through social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 415

You deserved it 3 454

Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 946

You deserved it 5 520

Today, my wife ruined the gift I got for our 10 year anniversary by opening a package that was clearly addressed to me, finding the custom made necklace, and started wearing it straight away. I didn’t even know it had been delivered yet and boom, right there on her neck two weeks early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 104