Today, my 43 year old mother came home covered in hickeys. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office for a regular check up. They found "odd red marks" on the inside of my thighs. They started to think it might be a skin disease, so I had to explain to my mother and the doctor that it was hickeys from my boyfriend. FML
Old dog, new tricks
Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Naughty girl
Today, my mom found out that I got a tattoo two years ago. She got mad and spanked me. I'm 33 years-old. FML
Top comments
feven 32
Get it mom.
sayhisoph 26
I boxed off "glad it wasn't me" ... I really regret that. I wish it was me.
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Comments (55)
Muerteds 18
Jealousy is a stinky cologne.
PuffPastry 8
Dude, 43 isn't old at all. Of course she still has a sex life, shes human. Get over it.
sighlifeman 12
43 isn't old you know she can have a life of her own.
Ise_fml 6
How selfish are you for not wanting your mom to experience this? Love is amazing, and snuggling, kissing, and all the comes with is is as well. Be happy for her.
JamJamz 6
Be happy your mom got laid. I wouldn't give a **** if that was my mom.
JimminyCrib 7
Soooooo she's single????
RealChewyPiano 18
Ah yes sorry about that
dt2112 4
Sounds like she's still got it! Good for her!