Anonymous
Dewitt, United States
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Scottsdale, United States
Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML
Anonymous
Las Vegas, United States
Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML
singlemam
Akron, United States
Today, while at the park, my 3 year-old ran up to a lady, grabbed her chest and loudly asked, "Are these your breasts? Are they private on you too?" FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
MommyProblems
United States
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
anon
Toronto, Canada
Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
potatoebee
Clover, United States
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
parentof5
United States
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Anonymous
But he's only 5
Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML
Mikabe
Sweden
Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML
Top comments
thecouchisalive 20
Just like his Daddy
Ravike 17
Can't blame the kid, he just obeyed his daddy's wish
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Comments (85)
steelmoonlight 23
What the **** did I just read
Mightyrif 23
Let's hope he doesn't use the same excuse when he's older.
Godsofdracos 15
He was just fluffing the pillows for his nap later :D
Jonfun 14
Seriously, they start younger & younger. *smh* hashtag respect!
gracehi 33
Wow. You actually spelled out the word "hash tag." I sure hope you did so "ironically."
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Maybe he thought people wouldn't realize if he didn't put the # and just spelled it out. Either way it looks idiotic, lol.
ooft 8
They teach them early these days
chosha_fml 27
There is really no good way to explain that. Creepy.
worldclassrager 41
Boy do they learn and grow up fast...a little discipline might do him well
interesting33 37
Thing is, the boy was doing what his Dad told him to do so he didn't know it was wrong.
LisaDay 14
punish him for doing what he was told to do by his father?
RogueWarrior869 23
That is creepy. Hope you explain to the kid that was not okay, and talk to his daddy about it.
kingdomgirl94 29
Well considering it wasn't some random kid and it was OPs son, I think its not as creepy as it could have been. Definitely worse if OP was unrelated to the kid.
laylaeve 9
My husband has by example taught my son to smack anyone in the ass. An my son also likes big breasted women. He literally tried grabbing my friends cousins bazoongas while he was making kissing noises for her to give him a kiss. Priceless. Now I know he's a lil macker like momma. I was always smooth with the lady's
Algorithm 24
This comment is so uncomfortable.
Lil_Red777 21
This is so disturbing.