Anonymous
Dewitt, United States
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Scottsdale, United States
Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML
Anonymous
Las Vegas, United States
Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML
singlemam
Akron, United States
Today, while at the park, my 3 year-old ran up to a lady, grabbed her chest and loudly asked, "Are these your breasts? Are they private on you too?" FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
MommyProblems
United States
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
anon
Toronto, Canada
Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
potatoebee
Clover, United States
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
parentof5
United States
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Anonymous
But he's only 5
Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML
Mikabe
Sweden
Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML
Top comments
thecouchisalive 20
Just like his Daddy
Ravike 17
Can't blame the kid, he just obeyed his daddy's wish
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (85)
vikky538 29
this will get weird when your kid start holding any woman's breast he meets...
HJKM_fml 19
I think you need to have a little talk with 'daddy' because in no way is it cute or funny to tell a freaking 4 year old these things. I mean, what happens when he goes up to girls in his class and starts doing this?
Algorithm 24
Especially when acting out sexual behavior early is a sign of abuse. Regardless of where it actually came from, that's (hopefully?) going to raise some red flags from professionals who've been trained to look for it. Imagine having to sit down and explain that situation to his kindergarten teacher.
LisaDay 14
good god guys, its afunny joke! he wasnt told to go and do it to every girl! the kid will forget about it in 10 minutes. calm down. not everything is abuse or sign of abuse!
darryaz 9
My son was the same way and I kinda encouraged it. Now, at 23 he's a perfectly normal well-adjusted man. So lighten up, everybody.
iwadasn 33
Right...So the parents should tell his teacher to "lighten up" when he grabs her breasts on the first day of kindergarten?
Brandi_Faith 34
I agree with 47. It is funny at the time, but the problem is the kid learns that doing that makes people laugh and I can practically guarantee he will try this on someone else just so people will laugh.
LisaDay 14
calm down guys. its a joke. he wasnt told to do it to every girl, just to the mom. the kid will forget about it in 10 minutes.
Skull7838 5
we should always follow our parents orders they have reasons
alexhanakahi 14
He sucked on em a few years back. Why not squeeze em now?
THEDARKLORDOFALL 17
His dad know how to have fun
NyQuilSausages 7
Like father, like son
LeBoss2001 5
LMFAOOOOO
crissco 2
Your kid used to suck on those sweater puppies. Now you get mad that he touched them?
AbelChu 3
cute boy, he will be a girls_killer