Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML
Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML
Today, I sang a sweet lullaby to my two year-old son. In the process, he smacked me in the face and told me to please stop. My sister sings to him all the time and he loves it. FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML
Today, I was having dinner with my husband and two toddlers. My two year-old son was being incredibly cute and independently drinking water out of an open cup. I commented on how much I loved him. Two seconds later, he threw said cup with water at my head and started laughing. FML
Today, my two year-old cousin was having a temper tantrum. I decided to give him a flashlight because playing with it usually distracts him. It didn't. Instead, he hit me in the face with it as hard as possible, leaving a bruise. FML
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Top comments
thatonegirlnic 10
He's a reverse sour patch kid. Sweet. Sour. Gone.
chrisstanford 10
Did you punish him?! Had I done that when I was little I would get timeout and a whopping
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Comments (141)
StompinOnCrayons 15
Little ones like slapstick.
kmartFTW 12
Love hurts.
foxy_grampa 19
Kids do the darnedest things
kinky44 28
The kiss was for love, the slap was so you dont get too used to it.
cmbar831 14
So sweet
PattonGilette2 18
too
brandoneyez1 25
That's funny. Don't tell him it's funny, but it's ok to laugh to yourself.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
vegetables for a week
sickerthanyou 13
He is practicing how to slap a ho when he is old enough to be a pimp , at least he didn't have the classic ring on his pinky.
perdix 31
Was he wearing a sleeveless mommy-beater t-shirt? This is why you make little kids listen to Barney the Dinosaur and not Chris Brown.