Today, like every other day at work, I had to listen to people talk about being addicted to sex. I have to treat people for addiction to something I've never even had. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at my job, I was so tired and aggravated that I accidentally mumbled, "I need a drink." One of the patients I was taking care of heard me and said, "Me too." I work at an addiction rehab facility. FML
Today, I made an attempt to be nicer to customers at my job as instructed, which resulted in me listening to a handful of elderly people's incontinence issues, and a meth-addict's multiple abortions in detail. FML
Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML
Today, at work I had to listen to a group of old men talk about double penetration. I work at a coffee shop. FML
Today, I found out that I work with a bunch of sex addicts. One of them is my cousin, and she did NOT hold back when telling me her and her fiancé's plans about swinging. FML
Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make myself feel better. FML
Today, I was half paying attention to a text message conversation with someone about how addicted we both were to social media. It's wasn't until deep into the conversation that I realized we were actually talking about porn. FML
Today, a sex phone worker asked me if I was alright and recommended I get some kind of therapy. FML
Today, after spending a week defending my marriage to everyone, I found out my husband has an addiction I never knew about. Hookers. FML
Today, I was invited to an adult toy party with co-workers. They started by playing a game called 'Never Ever Have I Ever' about everyone's sexual exploits. My mother is a co-worker. I can never un-hear what I heard. FML
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Top comments
bored359 13
I'm sure they could help with that!
meli1195 31
yes, a high school student is definitely qualified to rehabilitate sex addicts.
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Comments (109)
marcranger 29
Eh, it's overrated, IMO. Totally not worth the extra baggage.
pressingreset 13
You, my friend, are having sex with the wrong people.
squideth 18
No everyone feels the same way about sex, yaknow. Asexuals, etc etc.
vikky538 29
first time is always memorable..wait for the good one...
wikypedia 5
Well then u don't understand their struggles!
gogoakira 7
good, and dont do it until u get married
maddy20159 6
Then why is that your job?
karmaweasel 14
Probably not the best line of work for you then? Sexual addition is serious (not just "oh lucky you, wish I had that!") Friend of a friend has it. Nearly lost his job, marriage and driven him to suicide over it. If you aren't up to it, don't do it. Change to a different "addiction" specialty if it is bothering you so much.
sirrubberduckie 37
Sexual addition is something we never covered in math class. I would have paid lots of attention.
karmaweasel 14
Autocorrect plus poor vision kinda sucks sometimes....
sirrubberduckie 37
*is hilarious all the time. :)
MissBehavin77 18
I feel for you. Im married so I never get any either, that would be tough.
sirrubberduckie 37
If you're married and truly have little or no sex, I feel bad for you. That really sucks unless you planned it.
Patriots21 14
That's something that you should probably share with your partner, not the FML world.
Badkarma4u 17
I'm pretty sure her partner already knows.
kaybaybayyo 11
Why would you pick this career field if you're going to be bitter about it?
False_Stupidity 42
I don't think OP is bitter about it. Seems more like they put it on FML due to the strong irony.
Zebediabolical 45
There is something wrong with being an adult virgin who doesn't want to be one, however.
captainsmegma 12
Yeah, but you probably gets some great stories to jerk off to.