Today, like every other day at work, I had to listen to people talk about being addicted to sex. I have to treat people for addiction to something I've never even had. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at my job, I was so tired and aggravated that I accidentally mumbled, "I need a drink." One of the patients I was taking care of heard me and said, "Me too." I work at an addiction rehab facility. FML
Today, I made an attempt to be nicer to customers at my job as instructed, which resulted in me listening to a handful of elderly people's incontinence issues, and a meth-addict's multiple abortions in detail. FML
Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML
Today, at work I had to listen to a group of old men talk about double penetration. I work at a coffee shop. FML
Today, I found out that I work with a bunch of sex addicts. One of them is my cousin, and she did NOT hold back when telling me her and her fiancé's plans about swinging. FML
Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make myself feel better. FML
Today, I was half paying attention to a text message conversation with someone about how addicted we both were to social media. It's wasn't until deep into the conversation that I realized we were actually talking about porn. FML
Today, a sex phone worker asked me if I was alright and recommended I get some kind of therapy. FML
Today, after spending a week defending my marriage to everyone, I found out my husband has an addiction I never knew about. Hookers. FML
Today, I was invited to an adult toy party with co-workers. They started by playing a game called 'Never Ever Have I Ever' about everyone's sexual exploits. My mother is a co-worker. I can never un-hear what I heard. FML
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Top comments
bored359 13
I'm sure they could help with that!
meli1195 31
yes, a high school student is definitely qualified to rehabilitate sex addicts.
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Comments (109)
bored359 13
I'm sure they could help with that!
bummerbums 16
I don't think you're supposed to mess around with the clients. That and I wouldn't trust sex addicts :l
cdawg69 10
I would..
1dvos_grl3 21
Std city #64 Have fun with that.
Mr23 9
Well, #82, you know, condoms were invented for a reason. That ebing said, it's massively unethical to feed someone's addiction, doubly so if you're there as part of the effort to cure them.
Hidebehindarock 19
Condoms don't protect you 100%..
RufusBarbarossa 13
No, but they're pretty damn good at what they do - especially against an STD or STI.
iop330 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Just remember that Jesus wants you pure. Well, That's what I tell myself.
EmoKami 21
I prefer pure EVIL, still technically "pure" ;P
Llama_Face89 34
Hey if Jesus wanted us to be pure he wouldn't have been slumming around with a prostitute.
Mr23 9
FORMER prostitute. And ALLEDGEDLY. You know what? Apologize to Mary right now, or you're not getting into heaven. No one disses Jesus' GF.
RedPillSucks 33
Church lies. Mary Magdalene was never a prostitute
spacey_blueberry 18
Well maybe you can change that ;)
yeti37 16
Is it me, or did anyone else picture OP looking like Jimmy MacElroy from Blades of Glory...?
percythompson96 10
right
christian_slate 16
Maybe your boss will sack you...
RedPillSucks 33
aww come one. i thought this was a good double entendre. more up votes
EmoKami 21
Potentially triple entendre? Sack to sleep with, fire, and hit in the balls...
GrimReefer66 29
There is nothing wrong with being a virgin, wait for the right one because it's something you can't get back.
EmoKami 21
That's only if we continue to put such high expectations in our first time. Sex is awkward the first time usually, and sometimes can turn people off of sex, especially if they've been waiting for marriage with someone, and then it happens to be bad or painful.(since I hear it can be for girls?)
foxwasalamb 24
and guys. dry + dry = bad
azarel88 11
not lie my first time was pretty good and a lot of fun dunno how but went for like 2 hours, back was all scratched up. 10/10 night.
extrasnipes 22
Hey at least you'll be one of the only ones to know how to do the 'virgin' on the dance floor
PennyLane27 32
This could be a movie! Ahh the script dialogue possibilities!
Schuyler16 17
There is a movie lol
PennyLane27 32
40 Year Old Virgin 2: The Sex Therapist Monologues
1nertia 15
Pretty sure there logic to change that. 0 is countless, therefore, you've slept with countless people... Which then makes you easy... Don't follow my advice actually.
purelymixed 17
Should be a qualification