Today, it was our one year anniversary. After a surprise re-creation of our first date, we went home, in the mood for love. The food poisoning from the restaurant had a different idea. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went on my first date in 6 months, to a Thai restaurant. We both got food poisoning and spent the entire evening alternately running to the bathroom while pretending that we were fine. FML
Today, in the middle of our one year anniversary dinner, my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend showed up declaring her love for him. They left together and I had to take the bus home. FML
Today, I thought I would be cute for my one year anniversary with my girlfriend, so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML
Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML
Today, I went out to eat to celebrate getting over the stomach flu. I hadn't eaten solid food in over a week, so I was really excited and ordered my favorite dish. It gave me food poisoning. FML
Today, it's my one year anniversary with my husband. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress and slinky underwear, and waited for him to get home. He walked in the door and asked me with a quizzical look if I was going out tonight. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML
Today, I got food poisoning for the first time after cooking. Yesterday, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. FML
Today, it's our fifth-year anniversary with my boyfriend. I gave him his gift and walked over to the kitchen to serve him some food I'd made. On my way back to the dining room, I overheard his plans with his friend to ditch me in 10 minutes. FML
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Top comments
Mr25_fml 14
damn salmonella
22jrdn55 15
Just give up, they're going to thumb you down no matter what you do. OP, better luck next year.
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Comments (109)
alexh15 13
Let me guess. It was the chilli?
silentbutfunny 0
No it was the unwashed lettuce which had traces of choped up slugs. "monsters inside me" anybody?
annihil8or 15
That sux
Britter903 6
Learn to spell dumbass
silentbutfunny 0
Acually it blows... Chuncks :) Gasp i mispellt :O
every1luvsboners 11
YDI, for trying to re-create your first date. Any couple that's this lame deserves uncontrollable bowels.
GoW_Chick 15
I think it's a really sweet thing to try and do and if doesn't go as planned doesn't matter it's the thought that counts, but then again I am a hopeless romantic.
astralvagan 20
You're such a douche bag
asherm 15
I agree, very sweet! Too bad date ended up "shitty". Yes terrible pun intended, but hope whoever got sick feels better soon. I'm hopeless too, and hope years from now they look back and laugh.
xSorry_fml 10
#40 Is name calling on a site that is solely based on opinion necessary? Try giving a thumbs down and moving on, unless it's your intention to look like a clown.
xxxsullenpanda 0
You're such an asshole...
frenzied93 7
Just shows how thoughtful you'll ever be...
ClassyCommando 13
Holy shit, people! This is every1luvsboners you're talking to! Show some ******* respect for this legend!
Monkeybuttcream 4
OP - never eat anywhere where they keep a dog in the kitchen. then again i fling my own poop.
MyPerspective 4
Take care! Don't let your first month of 2012 suck.
yourlove13 0
at least you were in bed together?
GoW_Chick 15
Aww that is terrible but at least you're together. Misery loves company.
KiddNYC1O 22
Body like an hour glass?
Otarin 6
Sounds like me over the last two weeks. I was in Thailand, what's your excuse?
aissie 2
Really? Did you know McDonalds' employees are not required to wear hairnets or gloves. I found this out when I watched a guy touch my food with his hands and then try to serve it to me. No one wore hairnets (or gloves). When I called to complain, I got to whole spill about how they aren't "required to wear hairnets or gloves". Not sure if I wanna eat anywhere but home.
hateevryone 15
that's messed up