Today, it was our one year anniversary. After a surprise re-creation of our first date, we went home, in the mood for love. The food poisoning from the restaurant had a different idea. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went on my first date in 6 months, to a Thai restaurant. We both got food poisoning and spent the entire evening alternately running to the bathroom while pretending that we were fine. FML
Today, in the middle of our one year anniversary dinner, my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend showed up declaring her love for him. They left together and I had to take the bus home. FML
Today, I thought I would be cute for my one year anniversary with my girlfriend, so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML
Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML
Today, I went out to eat to celebrate getting over the stomach flu. I hadn't eaten solid food in over a week, so I was really excited and ordered my favorite dish. It gave me food poisoning. FML
Today, it's my one year anniversary with my husband. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress and slinky underwear, and waited for him to get home. He walked in the door and asked me with a quizzical look if I was going out tonight. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML
Today, I got food poisoning for the first time after cooking. Yesterday, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. FML
Today, it's our fifth-year anniversary with my boyfriend. I gave him his gift and walked over to the kitchen to serve him some food I'd made. On my way back to the dining room, I overheard his plans with his friend to ditch me in 10 minutes. FML
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Top comments
Mr25_fml 14
damn salmonella
22jrdn55 15
Just give up, they're going to thumb you down no matter what you do. OP, better luck next year.
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Comments (109)
mattorama 15
Trust me on this one, in years to come, you will have more fun laughing about the one year anniversary than you will thinking about the first date. Stuff like this strengthens a couple.
RedPillSucks 33
In between vomit and diarrhea, there's endless possibilities, if you're into that stuff.
awagh666 14
Yeah, all they need is a cup... (i would have thumbed myself down for that comment, but i seriously couldn't resist it)
Dracoboxer357 36
Thanks for that thought 44, I threw up when I saw the first 6 seconds of that charming little video. :p Ugh.
ClassyCommando 13
...and that music still makes me shudder every time I hear it.
loserman67 36
My wife and I went through the same thing just about this time last year. Went to a REALLY expensive restaurant we have always wanted to try, ate, went home in the mood, I mean we were ready to **** each other silly. Then the ***** hit me first, in the middle of me eating her out. I run to the bathroom, take a massive shit, my stomach is grumbling and all upset. I finally feel better enough to return to the bedroom and she's in the hall bathroom doing the same thing. Took two days to pass. We called the restaurant, told them what happened and they offered to buy us a round of drinks on our next visit. I never found out what they bought the health inspector during his visit?? But they were closed for three weeks.....
perdix 31
The traditional gift for a first anniversary is paper, the modern one is clocks, but the cool one is Cleveland Steamers. Sounds like you're ready for a cool anniversary ;)
ClassyCommando 13
I reckon paper, of a sort, is going to be required soon, anyway :)
Snafuusmc 12
Agh yeah I hate when I cough and I shit myself at the time when you get food poisoning!
xSorry_fml 10
Get four buckets and commence with the romancing of one another. If you only have 2 buckets I recommend only oral.
asherm 15
That's sweet about re-creating the first date. Sorry about the food poison, hope you feel better soon!!! But you got the "in sickness and health" down. Best of luck for many more anniversaries (:
astralvagan 20
That sucks, but at least you can show her you still love her by holding her hair back for her. I really do feel for you.... I imagine a lot of thought, time and energy went into it, and then the damn restaurant got you sick......
DocBastard 40
Go through with the anniversary fuckfest! But, uh, skip the anal.
perdix 31
Or focus on it ;)
flockz 20
the diarhea will serve as an excellent lube, just hold the chunks.
ShakeMeDown 12
That's groady.
phantumgrey 6
Food poisoning doesn't kick in that fast. You just had the runs