Today, it was our one year anniversary. After a surprise re-creation of our first date, we went home, in the mood for love. The food poisoning from the restaurant had a different idea. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went on my first date in 6 months, to a Thai restaurant. We both got food poisoning and spent the entire evening alternately running to the bathroom while pretending that we were fine. FML
Today, in the middle of our one year anniversary dinner, my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend showed up declaring her love for him. They left together and I had to take the bus home. FML
Today, I thought I would be cute for my one year anniversary with my girlfriend, so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML
Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML
Today, I went out to eat to celebrate getting over the stomach flu. I hadn't eaten solid food in over a week, so I was really excited and ordered my favorite dish. It gave me food poisoning. FML
Today, it's my one year anniversary with my husband. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress and slinky underwear, and waited for him to get home. He walked in the door and asked me with a quizzical look if I was going out tonight. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML
Today, I got food poisoning for the first time after cooking. Yesterday, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. FML
Today, it's our fifth-year anniversary with my boyfriend. I gave him his gift and walked over to the kitchen to serve him some food I'd made. On my way back to the dining room, I overheard his plans with his friend to ditch me in 10 minutes. FML
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Top comments
Mr25_fml 14
damn salmonella
22jrdn55 15
Just give up, they're going to thumb you down no matter what you do. OP, better luck next year.
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Comments (109)
Choonie 1
Next time
j_cat187 20
Did you try the chowder?
wittygirl 8
Hey look at it this way you can both share the porcelain bowl together :)
aissie 2
Amen to that. But I called their corp office and that's what they told me. Maybe variation by state?
NullPointer 20
Simple, get a time machine and poison the food on your original date.
bubo_fml 11
Did U scat on the 1st date? Damn! U phreaky!
sarahlh_23 0
Impossible, it takes 18 hours for food poisoning to set in!
hammie5150 0
Food poisoning doesn't hit that fast!
LilliPage 17
Actually, the most common types of food poisoning do hit within a few hours, and you don't know how long it took them to get home after eating the food. Maybe they went to a movie.
Biggins14 0
At least you thought about doing something good like that and tried, that's all that counts
melanierules123 7
Did you have food poisoning the first time too?