Self-masturbation? Is there any other kind? Lol. I'm sorry. I'm not usually a grammar Nazi on these websites, but I felt like being a smart ass. Maybe she got it for you to spice things up in your sex life? She might like the idea of you using it. I don't know. I don't really think this is an FML, but I'm sorry that you were unhappy with it.

This isn't an FML, this is just an idiot who doesn't realize what a nice wife he has. She doesn't have to have sex with you whenever you want, but she still wants you to be happy and satisfied, so she buys you an aid to help you out whenever she can't. That's thoughtful and kind. F your wife's life because she's got such a prick for a husband.

So? Maybe she just wants you to be able to enjoy yourself when she's not there?

#16: not an oxymoron; it's redundant. but nice try. [oxymoron: a figure of speech in which apparently contradictory terms appear in conjunction]

how are sex toys possible for guys?

You actually got a gift for your birthday, so quit whining..... Plus I've givin a vibrator as a gift to my girlfriend before, and she loved it. I really dont see anything wrong with this...

lol, #45. Anyone can have a sex toy nowadays.

#6, actually masturbation refers to pleasuring erogenous zones without use of mouth or other erogenous zone. For instance, if I were to give my boyfriend a handjob, I would be masturbating him. #45, you've got to be joking. OP, hell, she's giving you a gift to help you get off whenever, if she's not available or on her period or just really doesn't feel like it. Jeez, stop complaining. mas?tur?ba?tion??[mas-ter-bey-shuhn] –noun 1. the stimulation or manipulation of one's own genitals, esp. to ******; sexual self-gratification. 2. the stimulation, by manual or other means exclusive of coitus, of another's genitals, esp. to ******. dictionary.reference.com

At least she's okay with you masturbating ;)

I must say, it's funny that everyone bashed the OP for saying "self-masturbation" when it's not even redundant, just clarifying.

#41... Please. As if I'd limit her use of one, I just wouldn't buy one as it undermines the entire intention of intimacy. Giving sex toys as gifts in a relationship is just weird, simply because it makes no sense. Just because your relationship was "better" cause of it, doesn't mean you are sane/competent or a normal person. Some people actually detest masturbation, because it's biological sadism.

#51, biological sadism? No, it's a healthy sexual activity... What on Earth can you mean by that?