Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed:... - FML

By crazystuff23 - 1/6/2009 16:44 - United States

Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML

I agree, your life sucks

81541

You deserved it

5809

Tweet

Share

Family values

Gratitude walks

Property law

By Johannes_712 - 5/7/2019 12:00

Today, my brother is getting married to my crush of 7 years. To make that even worse, they're moving in with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1546

You deserved it

530

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/4/2012 02:22 - United States

Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25452

You deserved it

2437

Tweet

Share

By jquaw - 28/9/2014 17:12 - Canada - Brockville

Today, I realized the sweet, sensitive girl I was talking to on a dating site was actually my brother trolling me for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44506

You deserved it

6148

Tweet

Share

By BadBribe - 24/6/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52927

You deserved it

30024

Tweet

Share

By Username - 1/7/2011 21:47 - United States

Today, I was so broke that I paid for a $0.28 candy bar with my credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29205

You deserved it

12742

Tweet

Share

By naagodinho - 9/1/2012 14:56 - Portugal

Today, I applied to a new gym. Now I have a hernia. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22811

You deserved it

4734

Tweet

Share

By sandwichsex - 8/8/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46942

You deserved it

11912

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/2/2010 05:31 - United States

Today, I was complaining to my roommate that I never get asked out. Then, at work, a mentally challenged man left me his phone number on his pay ticket. Well, I guess I can't complain about never getting asked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21372

You deserved it

7302

Tweet

Share

By preggers - 30/11/2011 14:57 - Canada

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33439

You deserved it

3907

Tweet

Share

By Starving Student - 17/5/2012 03:42 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I got a ticket for panhandling to get gas money so that I could both drive out to a job interview AND still have enough gas to pick up my dad. Apparently, these particular cops had nothing better to do than harass me for standing quietly next to a freeway entrance with a silly sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10050

You deserved it

28695

Tweet

Share

By InnocenceBlue - 31/7/2019 12:00

Today, I finally managed to get my electrician boyfriend to agree to replace our old lights, after a year of asking. Saturday, he couldn't be bothered and Sunday he came down with a mysterious man flu. This is about the 10th time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1456

You deserved it

276

Tweet

Share

By stillwaiting - 15/9/2009 21:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my boss plays a trick on all the interns. He calls you to his office, then leaves you waiting outside until you get annoyed and leave. Apparently, the old record was 45mins. I waited 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50258

You deserved it

11105

Tweet

Share

By DQB - 24/5/2009 02:17 - Canada

Today, I pulled up to a stoplight and blew past the car beside me to merge into one lane. About 30 seconds later, I ran out of gas right in front of them. We were on a bridge, and I had to push my car all the way across. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10082

You deserved it

61733

Tweet

Share

By NoNaMe - 4/6/2009 08:07 - Australia

Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10601

You deserved it

75023

Tweet

Share

By Username - 27/5/2011 02:39

Today, I saw a firework show. In my kitchen. When my stove blew up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35976

You deserved it

4423

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 27/6/2011 13:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

66865

You deserved it

8080

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/9/2010 01:44 - United States

Today, while I was driving, a police officer jumped out from the sidewalk and into my lane. I slammed on the brakes so I wouldn't hit him. He then gave me a ticket for "obstructing traffic". FML

I agree, your life sucks

34236

You deserved it

2565

Tweet

Share

By beachbirdbait - 9/2/2017 12:00 - United States - Savannah

Today, I drove to the beach for an hour to relax before returning to the intense workload of midterms. A kid walking by threw a cracker near me and I was instantly attacked by a group of seagulls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6486

You deserved it

454

Tweet

Share

By murp - 18/10/2012 16:26 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I went out for a few drinks with some friends. All night, I kept smiling and showing off my newly brace-free teeth. Later on, one of my friends drunkly asked, "Why does she keep smiling? Her teeth are fucking jacked." FML

I agree, your life sucks

26441

You deserved it

3168

Tweet

Share

By imblue42 - 24/6/2015 05:16 - United States

Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25158

You deserved it

3676

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 13/3/2013 14:41 - United States - Modesto

Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38180

You deserved it

3761

Tweet

Share

By thatstinks - 7/4/2011 03:12 - Iceland

Today, I finally found out what the weird sour smell that's been in my dorm room for a while is. My roommate's sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30401

You deserved it

2953

Tweet

Share

By exasperated - 17/4/2014 03:14 - United States - Houston

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

I agree, your life sucks

55023

You deserved it

4596

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 4/8/2011 03:27 - United Kingdom

Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13026

You deserved it

28129

Tweet

Share

By Jamie - 10/3/2010 20:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex when he stopped responding. Five minutes later and ready to hang up, he apologized because he got distracted with his game of Tetris. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24713

You deserved it

3962

Tweet

Share

By brokeforever - 18/3/2015 22:23 - Latvia - Riga

Today, I found out how much those tiny dogs cost when my German Shepherd ate one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35484

You deserved it

12208

Tweet

Share

By Chouse - 7/9/2012 01:56 - Canada - Grande Prairie

Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

23687

You deserved it

2593

Tweet

Share

By MLZ - 30/7/2010 20:00 - United States

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46180

You deserved it

3524

Tweet

Share

By sabotaged - 2/11/2015 00:05 - United States - Oakland

Today, I got fired from my dream job. I found out today that the girl who trained me lied and taught me how to do things wrong, so that when she got back from maternity leave, she could get me fired and take her job back. My new coworkers were in on her plan from the beginning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30688

You deserved it

1546

Tweet

Share

By TomPom - 25/11/2008 06:54 - France

Today, in one of the corridors at university, I was pretending to have passionate sex with one of my lecturers to make my mates laugh. She happened to walk by just at that moment. She reminded me when my next exam is; she will be marking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9269

You deserved it

37254

Tweet

Share

By IHateProtesters - 25/11/2014 16:13 - United States - Hartford

Today, a group of protesters set up just outside my residence hall at one in the morning. After an hour of chanting, the police finally told them to stop, and I was finally able to get some sleep. The protesters responded by pulling the fire alarm in every residence hall on campus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34589

You deserved it

3004

Tweet

Share

By Hotdamnthisismyjam - 16/6/2009 00:32 - Canada

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest ugliest man at the table looks me over then stares at my chest. He then starts to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50974

You deserved it

6578

Tweet

Share

By PissyPuss - 10/12/2015 21:38 - United States

Today, the bladder infection I thought I was over flared up at work, causing me to piss myself, despite having gone twice in the previous hour. I still had to finish my shift, soaked pants and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23750

You deserved it

1835

Tweet

Share

By SomeExplainingToDo - 4/9/2017 04:30

Today, I sent a polite yet strongly-worded email to one of my corporate clients in which I expressed my irritation at being asked the same question by the same team for the 4th day in a row. I ended it with "Regards!" but accidentally swapped the 'g' with a 't'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3353

You deserved it

1672

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 8/3/2013 17:44 - Netherlands - Maastricht

Today, I sat through an incredibly long and tedious class lecture. Just as my professor was nearing the end of his lecture, the resident stoner loudly yawned and asked what we'd been talking about for the past hour. We got to hear most of the lecture all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31875

You deserved it

2405

Tweet

Share

By why - 23/7/2013 13:21

Today, I caught my roommate pouring back his leftover milk from his cereal back into the jug to "save money." FML

I agree, your life sucks

49069

You deserved it

3677

Tweet

Share

By feel so dirty - 11/1/2018 09:00

Today, I asked my husband when he first knew he loved me. He replied, totally honestly, that I was the easiest girl he'd ever managed to talk into a one night stand, only instead of doing the walk of shame the next morning, I stayed so long we ended up married with kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5533

You deserved it

1223

Tweet

Share

By Raset24 - 30/6/2016 17:40

Today, it was my last day at my job. My team made a little party for me so they could wish me well and say goodbye, but when it came time for my manager to give a little speech, she couldn't even remember my name. I've been working there for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14584

You deserved it

1055

Tweet

Share

By "mala_19" - 4/9/2017 23:15

Today, once again, my boss posted a selfie with a Snapchat filter on the company's Facebook page. She doesn't see how it's unprofessional. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3146

You deserved it

235

Tweet

Share

By Tabby - 6/8/2011 20:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28464

You deserved it

3826

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By leandra12 | 0

#251345 - Monday 1 June 2009 20:02

That's why you shouldn't be facebook friends with your parents.

By bluedoll | 1

#251350 - Monday 1 June 2009 20:03

That is why there are certain people in my life I refuse to be friends with on Facebook. But hey, finding out your parents like it in the A.M isn't as bad as it could be. They could be fans of "Sex on other people's bed" or something. How do you think you got here? Magic?

COMMENTS

By cherrytwiz | 0

#251342 - Monday 1 June 2009 20:02

O.o
fyl

Reply

Me_Muahahaha | 0

#339010 - Thursday 25 June 2009 7:37

Not onnly do you have u rents on facebook but u think this is fml worthy wow... fail.

By schadenfreudeFTW | 0

#251343 - Monday 1 June 2009 20:02

LOL!
glad my parents are divorced :]

Reply

xXCODGODXx | 11

#2965790 - Sunday 24 July 2011 19:00

u shouldnt be glad about that

Reply

JenDanielle917 | 13

#3545848 - Saturday 5 November 2011 17:13

Yeah, them having sex and loving eachother is a lot better than them being divorced and hating eachother.

By leandra12 | 0

#251345 - Monday 1 June 2009 20:02

That's why you shouldn't be facebook friends with your parents.

By hscx1017 | 0

#251347 - Monday 1 June 2009 20:03

HAHAHAH

By davidomke | 0

#251348 - Monday 1 June 2009 20:03

ROFL!

By bluedoll | 1

#251350 - Monday 1 June 2009 20:03

That is why there are certain people in my life I refuse to be friends with on Facebook. But hey, finding out your parents like it in the A.M isn't as bad as it could be. They could be fans of "Sex on other people's bed" or something. How do you think you got here? Magic?

By Glam_fml | 0

#251352 - Monday 1 June 2009 20:04

Eh, parents need lovin' too. Sure, children don't want to hear about it, but it's not really a FML. At least you know your parents still love each other!

By Praesse | 0

#251353 - Monday 1 June 2009 20:04

Oh, poor you. Parents should always remember how horrible it was to know this kind of stuff about their own parents.
Anyway, you should know better than having your parents on facebook.

By OmgItsAnaBeatriz | 0

#251354 - Monday 1 June 2009 20:05

Well, At Least Your Parents Love Each Other :D

Reply

ronton | 4

#1275185 - Friday 20 August 2010 13:20

Unless it's morning sex with other people.. haha!

By Turnip_Girl | 0

#251358 - Monday 1 June 2009 20:05

Is that before or after your mother makes your breakfast?