Health: Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a...

By bannana0zoom - 03/03/2012 08:06 - Canada

Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 010

You deserved it 7 973

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Same thing different taste

By not_so_sweet_sixteen - 17/03/2009 03:10 - United States

Today, was my sixteenth birthday. I was hoping to get a car. Instead, my parents got me a 3 month membership at the gym so I can lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 495

You deserved it 55 818

By Fat Bastard - 20/05/2019 04:02

Today, my son bought me some Slimfast for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 811

You deserved it 303

By Timetoloseweight - 11/11/2009 16:03 - France

Today, for my birthday, my friends and family gave me: A Wii Fit, a free year at the gym and a book of diet recipes. They didn't consult with each other. I've asked for "something corresponding to me". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 907

You deserved it 15 378

By fatman - 10/08/2010 02:29 - United States

Today, my mom signed me up for Weight Watchers as a surprise birthday present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 688

You deserved it 11 511

Cheers

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 08:25 - Australia - Aspley

Today, for my birthday, my friend bought me a book on how to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 365

You deserved it 3 383

By fatty - 17/11/2014 21:05 - United States - Gloucester

Today, my parents gave me fat burner pills for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 937

You deserved it 5 738

By Marteeny - 09/06/2016 03:14

Today, my mom said my boobs are finally getting bigger and that I've finally hit puberty. I'll be celebrating my 31st birthday next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 143

You deserved it 1 102

By MrFerret - 06/05/2011 03:41

Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 700

You deserved it 3 395

How can I make this about me?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2022 18:01

Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 163

By Anonymous - 03/03/2011 14:21 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My parents, whom I live with, told me that they did not get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 131

You deserved it 8 324

K_kanaka 26

Saturday 3 March 2012 12:20

HAPPY BIRTHDAY :D !!!

TylerBurden 21

Saturday 3 March 2012 12:23

You can't understand it now, but in a few weeks or months, if you really hit the gym, you will love her for that present. Happy birthday!

Comments

jayemdoubleyou 1

Saturday 3 March 2012 22:02

Ha!

submynutz 3

Saturday 3 March 2012 22:05

I wish someone would give me a gym membership I want one but cant afford it

bubo_fml 10

Saturday 3 March 2012 22:13

"What?! No Birthday Cake?! You Bitch!!"

havocmike 3

Saturday 3 March 2012 22:23

Be less fat

EduJav321 24

Saturday 3 March 2012 22:30

Hint hint

alicealice_fml 3

Saturday 3 March 2012 22:32

I hope you got the hint.

peterrandall 2

Saturday 3 March 2012 22:48

She wants you to lose some weight to fit into the clothes. Lose weight with your gym membership :-)

cruzzer20 1

Sunday 4 March 2012 0:02

Hold on isn't that a good thing?

ankoku 2

Sunday 4 March 2012 0:26

This could be a sign, I'm just not sure what..

SLRfan 4

Sunday 4 March 2012 0:38

She cares about you, be grateful!!!

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Birthday Relatable Abuse Social Media Money Scams Parents School Kids Education Health Public freakouts Grieving Mental health Music Geek Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Bikes Cops Transportation Family Fight Customers Work Gross

The Top

Today, I'm an ectomorph who struggles to gain, let alone maintain weight. Our politicians made food so much more expensive in the last three years, I can no longer afford a consistent amount of protein and to fill my fridge with vegetables. I can barely afford to make balanced meals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 131

Today, according to my husband of many years, he was actually planning to ghost me after our boring first date. It was only the fact that I shagged him senseless that night that kept him around long enough for us to actually get to know each other. Hooray for me being a "loose slut" back in 1998. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 561

The Top

Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break and play around with my boyfriend in bed for a couple hours. We decided to 69 for the first time, and everything was going great until out of nowhere, I loudly farted in his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 329

You deserved it 10 925

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 710

You deserved it 6 128

Today, my sister convinced my girlfriend that I cheated on her. All because I took the first slice of her birthday cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 572

You deserved it 5 469

Today, my application to join the navy was rejected due to having cancer in the past. It would seem my sister applied, we see the same doctor, and the office assistant pulled the wrong chart to submit the past medical history on because she forgot her ABCs. I was rejected before I ever applied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 318

You deserved it 225

Today, my favorite fish died. To make things better my parents thought to take me out to dinner. We ate sushi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 579

You deserved it 6 641

Today, after months of planning the perfect night with my brother, who was coming home for 2 weeks from the military, he cancelled because he "missed his dog". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 476

You deserved it 1 507

Same thing different taste

Cheers

How can I make this about me?

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