Love: Today, I found out that my beautiful engagement ring is a remake... - FML

By puggles - 03/01/2011 06:52 - United States

Today, I found out that my beautiful engagement ring is a remake of the late Princess Diana's engagement ring. I also found out my fiancé bought it from an infomercial, for $19.95. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 589

You deserved it 7 729

Good kid

Sorry…

Romance is dead

By parentof5 - 23/04/2011 15:20 - United States

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 584

You deserved it 24 754

Fake it til you make it

By Carl - 08/12/2020 12:02 - Australia - Abbotsford

Today, I was working from home alone while my wife was at her office. I decided that instead of having a healthy lunch at home, I would walk to the fast food place a block over. I didn't realise that my fitness tracker would automatically log this as "Exercise (walk)." My wife clicked "Like" underneath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 823

By Anonymous - 30/05/2012 01:55 - United States - Sioux City

Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 850

You deserved it 1 989

By Anonymous - 07/07/2011 22:52 - United States

Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 466

You deserved it 30 564

By Anonymous - 02/09/2013 04:16 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 531

You deserved it 6 820

By Aisu - 08/05/2009 18:14 - United States

Today, my mother called me a bad son for not telling her "Happy Mother's Day". When I told her Mother's Day wasn't until the 10th, she said that I would have forgotten anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 760

You deserved it 3 051

By yashika - 03/07/2019 14:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I discovered that it doesn’t matter where I move, I will always wake up at 5 a.m. to the sound of construction directly above my ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 122

By LonelyHeart - 22/10/2009 12:09 - United States

Today, I surprised my boyfriend at work, only to notice that his neck was covered in hickies. The night before, he texted me saying he needed alone time to get his mind together. Looks like he got together with another mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 640

You deserved it 3 320

By Anonymous - 03/11/2009 19:49 - United States

Today, I got stopped at the bank by security for carrying a weapon and threatened to call the police. I had to prove my “metal stick” was not a weapon. I am partially paralyzed in one of my feet and have to walk with a cane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 023

You deserved it 2 142

By Anonymous - 20/10/2009 02:38 - United States

Today, I walked into work, and the first question my boss asks me is "Are those your pajamas?" I was wearing my favorite outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 814

You deserved it 9 460

By Mouhahaa - 09/05/2012 03:48 - France

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 603

You deserved it 36 247

By Anonymous - 05/08/2015 06:13 - United States - Brookfield

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wasn't feeling our two-month relationship was up to par with his parents' 30-year marriage, and, furthermore, I wasn't similar enough to his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 089

You deserved it 2 115

Two Scoops

By ice ice baby - 08/09/2019 07:00 - United States - Monterey Park

Spicy

Today, it'd been so long since I last had sex, I was jolted out of my sleep by a body shaking orgasm. I was sweaty and breathless, and it took me a moment to realize it had been a dream. It would've been great except the subject of my nocturnal ecstasy was Vanilla Ice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 643

You deserved it 272

By NewBride - 14/08/2013 17:39 - United States - Lincoln

Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 743

You deserved it 5 569

By the dead never die - 09/07/2019 22:00

Today, after over a dozen separate blood tests, my doctor told me conclusively that my results are perfectly normal for a middle-aged woman in the early stages of pregnancy. Problem is, I’m a 24-year-old guy, so my doctor is very concerned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 169

You deserved it 105

By depressed - 10/03/2013 02:05 - United States - Hull

Today, I finally told my dad about how I've been diagnosed with clinical depression. He began to recite a commercial for depression meds, but he couldn't finish because he was overwhelmed with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 133

You deserved it 4 036

By Anonymous - 20/01/2011 08:52 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy who lives on the same floor as me in my apartment complex. I got stood up. Instead I got to listen to him doing the girl who lives next door to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 633

You deserved it 3 083

By Anonymous - 31/05/2016 16:11 - United States - Tyrone

Spicy

Today, my dad asked my brother not to use his shaver so late at night. That wasn't him, and it wasn't his shaver either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 516

You deserved it 3 265

By Peppermint - 17/03/2011 10:00 - New Zealand

Today, I put signs up in the lifts at work with my name and desk phone number as the contact in case the lifts break down. I work in IT so there are hundreds of men in the building. Someone has already drawn a very wonky heart next to my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 312

You deserved it 5 340

By BAMN2187 - 31/12/2012 03:51 - United States

Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 909

You deserved it 9 018

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 11:39 - Canada

Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 542

You deserved it 9 003

Getting fit for all the wrong reasons

By Anonymous - 01/05/2020 14:00

Today, for the 28th consecutive day, I went jogging for an hour, even though I never really used to, just to get away from my husband and two kids, because being stuck in lockdown with them is boring me out of my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 330

You deserved it 486

By simpleasjam - 19/09/2016 14:27 - United Kingdom - Worcester Park

Today, I screamed at a taxi driver to not run over a hedgehog. He got a fright and ended up pulling over. I hopped out and ran to the middle of the road to pick up the hedgehog and leave him on the grass by the path. As I got closer and went to pick up said hedgehog, I realised it was a pinecone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 132

You deserved it 6 648

By OuchImAMoron - 29/11/2013 02:05 - United States - Old Bridge

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 422

You deserved it 46 626

By randomgirl - 07/01/2012 14:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 054

You deserved it 14 777

By KN - 25/06/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 816

You deserved it 12 505

By galladore - 12/12/2014 15:17 - United States - Bensenville

Today, my oldest friend got engaged to her loving boyfriend of one year. Meanwhile, I can't even get my boyfriend of more than four years to commit to a decision of what he wants for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 434

You deserved it 4 901

Barf!

By TPelekakis - 08/06/2016 17:01 - United States - Kingsport

Today, I lost the 5 pounds I had gained over the last few weeks. I had vowed to do whatever it took to lose that weight, and I actually did, when I caught a horrible stomach bug. I'd eat my words, but I'm pretty sure I'd just end up throwing them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 710

You deserved it 1 020

By Barney - 18/06/2011 16:10 - United States

Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying attention, the cat walked through the paint tray. There are now Barney purple paw prints all over the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 784

You deserved it 9 131

By Anonymous - 04/10/2018 15:30

Today, my 6'8" Russian friend picked me up, a 5'0" petite girl. This would be fine if he hadn't been startled by a moth and dropped me down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 034

You deserved it 219

By Fire_Crotch - 14/08/2010 06:27 - Canada

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 836

You deserved it 48 603

By drivingmecrazy - 28/05/2015 01:28 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I called 911 to report a drunk driver. The operator yelled at me for following the guy and told me to get off the phone because I shouldn't be driving with a phone to my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 299

You deserved it 7 246

By HeSucks - 25/12/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a box of chocolates for Christmas. I thought it was sweet until I noticed the heart drawn on the back. It's the same box of chocolates I gave him for Christmas. Christmas last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 032

You deserved it 3 173

Time to bail

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 02:01

Today, I spent several hours consoling my crying girlfriend. Why was she crying? She had been told to stop 'leading on' a guy at work who has a crush on her. Worse yet, she has a crush on him, thus the crying. Worse still, this isn't the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 568

By myleghurts - 12/11/2012 06:50 - Australia - Strathfield

Today, on my way to school, I was shouted at by an obnoxious businessman for sitting down on the train when a "full fare paying passenger" was standing. I would normally have given him the seat straight away, except I have a broken leg. I showed him my leg and crutches. He still made me get up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 369

You deserved it 3 479

By Anonymous - 15/01/2015 15:12 - United States

Today, like every other day at work, I had to listen to people talk about being addicted to sex. I have to treat people for addiction to something I've never even had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 267

You deserved it 5 310

By Anonymous - 19/05/2011 03:48 - United States

Today, for the first time all month I felt truly proud and accomplished. I finally figured out how to change the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 851

You deserved it 24 057

How the turntables turn

By PoorAndBroke - 12/09/2021 14:01

Today, I went to see a house for rent. The owner ended up being a person whom I denied renting to a long time ago, because I thought she was sketchy looking. Apparently she’s the CEO of a company now. She definitely recognized me and kicked me off the premises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 1 227

By gag reflex - 16/08/2014 16:03 - Australia - Burwood

Spicy

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 920

You deserved it 9 769

Hmmm, twins

By Anonymous - 11/10/2009 10:58 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 562

You deserved it 4 120

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Monday 3 January 2011 12:07

The important thing is that you like it and he got it for you.

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Monday 3 January 2011 12:08

it's the thought that counts as long as it's beautiful why does it even matter and money is hard these days so wow

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bannedforlife 0

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Monday 3 January 2011 12:05

Yikes. Well, better start saving for a decent ring to buy yourself.

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Monday 3 January 2011 12:05

Damn. I actually feel bad for you.

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Monday 3 January 2011 12:07

The important thing is that you like it and he got it for you.

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Monday 3 January 2011 12:08

it's the thought that counts as long as it's beautiful why does it even matter and money is hard these days so wow

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Monday 3 January 2011 12:10

wow I saw that commercial so u suck go find a new husband.

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Monday 3 January 2011 13:22

Agreed!

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Monday 3 January 2011 13:41

It could be that he told her it was something expensive... We never get the whole story on FML.

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Monday 3 January 2011 21:55

I think she probably would've included that detail in the FML if he had lied to her

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Tuesday 4 January 2011 1:36

the price is originally 149$ or something.

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Tuesday 4 January 2011 22:25

And why the hell did my previous comment get voted down? You people honestly believe that if this guy LIED to his own fiance about the cost of their own damn wedding ring, the OP wouldn't be hurt enough to add a couple extra words to the FML? Because honestly, that would change the whole dynamics of it. She would have a good, decent reason for being upset rather than just looking materialistic, if he lied. But look out logically, rational thinkers! Apparently, she just left this giant, gaping detail out for the hell of it, and using magical, physic powers, the users of FML have discovered that her fiancee really did lie after all! This "there's not enough to the story" bullshit is getting out of hand. Judging from this point of view, there's "not enough" to every single submission on the site

PrincessNothing 0

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Monday 3 January 2011 12:11

Shallow much? At least he got you anything at all, and on top of that, regardless of whether or not it's a remake, for all you know he thinks you're a princess. Money doesn't come easy anymore, so be happy you got anything at all. YDI for being a brat.

ZombieVampirez 24

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Wednesday 22 April 2015 7:25

I agree, She should be happy to get a ring at all.

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Monday 3 January 2011 12:12

$19.95

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Monday 3 January 2011 13:09

THANK you.

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Monday 3 January 2011 13:28

imagine the birthday presents he must choose!

CMC_LOVES_MGM 19

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Monday 3 January 2011 19:33

Well its just the engagement ring! Hopefully that ring doesnt turn your finger green, but maybe he is saving up for a nice wedding ring and just gave you a cheap engagement ring for now. Maybe you should talk to your husband to be save alittle bit of cash for the wedding and BOTH of your rings, weddings are expensive so are rings so get to saving! :D GOOD LUCK with saving up money and GOOD LUCK with the actual wedding! I wish you both the best in a prosperous marriage! :D

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Monday 3 January 2011 12:13

FYL. I saw that infomercial and that is an ugly ass ring! if it makes you feel better it is $19.90, not $19.95. Cheap bastard!

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Monday 3 January 2011 12:15

My bad, now that I re-read this FML...I see that you thought it was beautiful. So, why are you bitching?

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Monday 3 January 2011 12:17

My bad, now that I re-read this FML...I see that you thought the ring was beautiful. So, why are you bitching?

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Monday 3 January 2011 13:08

I saw that infomercial too!! haha- it even looked cheap on the commercial- how she couldn't tell when she got it is what impresses me though!!! haha

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Monday 3 January 2011 13:56

saw it too

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Monday 3 January 2011 14:25

haha. ^ dog, dog, cat ^ (:

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Monday 3 January 2011 12:13

Actually, it was $19.90. (:

CMC_LOVES_MGM 19

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Monday 3 January 2011 19:28

Well its just the engagement ring! Hopefully that ring doesnt turn your finger green, but maybe he is saving up for a nice wedding ring and just gave you a cheap engagement ring for now. Maybe you should talk to your husband to be save alittle bit of cash for the wedding and BOTH of your rings, weddings are expensive so are rings so get to saving! :D GOOD LUCK with saving up money and GOOD LUCK with the actual wedding! I wish you both the best in a prosperous marriage! :D

Send a private message

Monday 3 January 2011 12:15

lol seriously? fyl op! not because of your cheap ring/fiance, but because of your taste in jewelry.

Nearly

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28

You deserved it 17

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 7

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I'm on day 11 of having COVID. My husband said to me, "I hope you get better soon so we can finally have sex again." Thanks for being concerned about MY health and wellbeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 85

Today, I realized why my boyfriend drove me to his “favorite” hospital about one agonizing hour away while I was in labor. His friend who's a nurse worked there. Or should I say, his side chick. He made out with her in the room while I was “sleeping” after giving birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 163

You deserved it 87