FML : Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought...

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Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

fingerhut Say more :

running is the best solution to constipation

By fingerhut / Saturday 3 March 2012 08:27 / United States

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Top comments

By ThatGuyRory | 9

#4117501 - Saturday 3 March 2012 12:21

That's what Tabloids are for nowadays anyway.

By roafteth | 4

#4117503 - Saturday 3 March 2012 12:22

Lolol, at least it wasn't as bad as it could be, there will probably soon be another fml story from the guy whose yard you used

Comments

By ThatGuyRory | 9

#4117501 - Saturday 3 March 2012 12:21

That's what Tabloids are for nowadays anyway.

redbluegreen | 40

#4117621 - Saturday 3 March 2012 13:01

That's some expensive toilet paper.

soccerdude79 | 0

#4117836 - Saturday 3 March 2012 14:31

Tabloids are in magazines not the newspaper

skitzofunia88 | 8

#4117853 - Saturday 3 March 2012 14:35

Umm Sunday is tomorrow if I'm not mistaken.

bdathorne | 6

#4117872 - Saturday 3 March 2012 14:43

FMLs aren't posted on the day they're submitted, nor are they necessarily submitted on the day they happen.

ThatGuyRory | 9

#4117885 - Saturday 3 March 2012 14:48

31 - There are two types of Newspaper: Tabloid and Broadsheet. Tabloids are your typical trashy sunday paper with the page 3 girl and all your Celebrity crap. Trust me.

Morgannnnuhhh | 1

#4118057 - Saturday 3 March 2012 16:15

My brother pooped his pants on his first date, whipped with a wet newspaper and the ink imprinted on him.(:

thiscrazything | 1

#4118609 - Saturday 3 March 2012 18:41

But why we're you jogging with a Sunday paper?

Sparks808 | 10

#4118727 - Saturday 3 March 2012 19:20

Not sure why you're being thumbed down, I was wondering the same thing myself.

miz_kamakazi | 11

#4118803 - Saturday 3 March 2012 19:48

33, Your pic reminds me of the FML who's fiancé refused to brush their teeth because they smoked menthols.

kooochris1995 | 14

#4119412 - Saturday 3 March 2012 23:39

^ Good to know.

Morgannnnuhhh | 1

#4119435 - Saturday 3 March 2012 23:46

I think it's great to know. (:

Sixers01 | 0

#4122717 - Monday 5 March 2012 5:25

96 - considering everyone is here to read about other's misfortunes, it was good to know

Morgannnnuhhh | 1

#4123722 - Monday 5 March 2012 14:36

^ thank you.

By roafteth | 4

#4117503 - Saturday 3 March 2012 12:22

Lolol, at least it wasn't as bad as it could be, there will probably soon be another fml story from the guy whose yard you used

xFluttershy | 7

#4117635 - Saturday 3 March 2012 13:06

As long as you didn't get any on the comic section:)

nickdunbar | 8

#4118003 - Saturday 3 March 2012 15:41

Haha

ApologyKick | 25

#4119298 - Saturday 3 March 2012 22:46

Personally, I'm hoping that there was an article about wallstreet on the paper op used

thisisafunnyname | 12

#4120525 - Sunday 4 March 2012 15:59

Not as bad as I thought it was. While reading it, I thought op was hit by a piece of shit

By kisaka | 2

#4117504 - Saturday 3 March 2012 12:22

Classy

123josie123 | 11

#4117628 - Saturday 3 March 2012 13:03

Dude, you can fight it once the urge is there.

123josie123 | 11

#4117876 - Saturday 3 March 2012 14:45

*cant

niznor99 | 6

#4118300 - Saturday 3 March 2012 17:02

No doubt. It sucks trying to fight it when you're driving.

blair_x | 12

#4119980 - Sunday 4 March 2012 7:37

It sucks even more when you're jogging, and pretty much all of you is like, moving around repeatedly.

You don't know the feeling of having to hold it in while running until you actually have to hold it in while running.

By silentbutfunny | 0

#4117511 - Saturday 3 March 2012 12:24

And hey you got the comics while your at it

Quillian12 | 0

#4119765 - Sunday 4 March 2012 6:33

!!!! You have the same birth day as me!!! :0

silentbutfunny | 0

#4122816 - Monday 5 March 2012 5:53

No i don't... Yours is a couple of years off.

By reenkaur | 7

#4117527 - Saturday 3 March 2012 12:28

good use of the sunday paper :D
.but hey, atleast you arent constipated .lol

fingerhut | 3

#4130377 - Wednesday 7 March 2012 2:37

running is the best solution to constipation

By choshaki | 8

#4117535 - Saturday 3 March 2012 12:29

Hopefully no one saw you. It could've been worse OP. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do...

By toenibbler | 14

#4117550 - Saturday 3 March 2012 12:33

The tabloids are perfectly suited for the job then.

By _streets_ | 19

#4117559 - Saturday 3 March 2012 12:37

Sometimes when you gotta go, you gotta go man.

iFizzgig | 11

#4117973 - Saturday 3 March 2012 15:25

Quack...BANG!

Morgannnnuhhh | 1

#4118096 - Saturday 3 March 2012 16:24

Duck face.(:

sovetskiy | 8

#4118396 - Saturday 3 March 2012 17:35

Let it happen, Cap'n

By CadillacPimpen | 6

#4117568 - Saturday 3 March 2012 12:39

I'm curious if you ran or walked back home?

AhhBrenid | 8

#4117956 - Saturday 3 March 2012 15:18

Hmm....i'm guessing op ran.

mojo5678 | 5

#4118340 - Saturday 3 March 2012 17:17

...

By redbluegreen | 40

#4117580 - Saturday 3 March 2012 12:46

I like how this FML was worded. It's like the OP slayed some sort of cumbersome cave dwelling dragon while armed only with a sword fashioned out of the Sunday funnies.