By fingerhut - 03/03/2012 08:27 - United States

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 526
You deserved it 3 676

fingerhut tells us more.

fingerhut 3

running is the best solution to constipation

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Top comments

ThatGuyRory 9

That's what Tabloids are for nowadays anyway.

140 0
roafteth 4

Lolol, at least it wasn't as bad as it could be, there will probably soon be another fml story from the guy whose yard you used

99 3

Comments

ThatGuyRory 9

That's what Tabloids are for nowadays anyway.

140 0
soccerdude79 0

Tabloids are in magazines not the newspaper

1 18
skitzofunia88 8

Umm Sunday is tomorrow if I'm not mistaken.

3 16
bdathorne 6

FMLs aren't posted on the day they're submitted, nor are they necessarily submitted on the day they happen.

17 1
ThatGuyRory 9

31 - There are two types of Newspaper: Tabloid and Broadsheet. Tabloids are your typical trashy sunday paper with the page 3 girl and all your Celebrity crap. Trust me.

13 2
Morgannnnuhhh 1

My brother pooped his pants on his first date, whipped with a wet newspaper and the ink imprinted on him.(:

7 10
thiscrazything 1

But why we're you jogging with a Sunday paper?

5 2
Sparks808 10

Not sure why you're being thumbed down, I was wondering the same thing myself.

1 0
miz_kamakazi 11

33, Your pic reminds me of the FML who's fiancé refused to brush their teeth because they smoked menthols.

0 0
Morgannnnuhhh 1

I think it's great to know. (:

3 7
Sixers01 0

96 - considering everyone is here to read about other's misfortunes, it was good to know

6 1
Morgannnnuhhh 1

^ thank you.

0 1
roafteth 4

Lolol, at least it wasn't as bad as it could be, there will probably soon be another fml story from the guy whose yard you used

99 3
xFluttershy 7

As long as you didn't get any on the comic section:)

16 2
ApologyKick 25

Personally, I'm hoping that there was an article about wallstreet on the paper op used

5 1
thisisafunnyname 12

Not as bad as I thought it was. While reading it, I thought op was hit by a piece of shit

3 1
123josie123 11

Dude, you can fight it once the urge is there.

12 5
niznor99 6

No doubt. It sucks trying to fight it when you're driving.

6 2
blair_x 12

It sucks even more when you're jogging, and pretty much all of you is like, moving around repeatedly. You don't know the feeling of having to hold it in while running until you actually have to hold it in while running.

4 1
silentbutfunny 0

And hey you got the comics while your at it

19 4
Quillian12 0

!!!! You have the same birth day as me!!! :0

1 6
silentbutfunny 0

No i don't... Yours is a couple of years off.

0 4
reenkaur 7

good use of the sunday paper :D .but hey, atleast you arent constipated .lol

16 7
fingerhut 3

running is the best solution to constipation

3 1
choshaki 8

Hopefully no one saw you. It could've been worse OP. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do...

40 1
toenibbler 14

The tabloids are perfectly suited for the job then.

8 3
_streets_ 19

Sometimes when you gotta go, you gotta go man.

11 4
sovetskiy 8

Let it happen, Cap'n

3 1
CadillacPimpen 6

I'm curious if you ran or walked back home?

12 5
AhhBrenid 8

Hmm....i'm guessing op ran.

6 1
redbluegreen 40

I like how this FML was worded. It's like the OP slayed some sort of cumbersome cave dwelling dragon while armed only with a sword fashioned out of the Sunday funnies.

78 2
friedbunnies 9

He kind of did.

20 2