Health: Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a...

By bannana0zoom - 03/03/2012 08:06 - Canada

Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 010

You deserved it 7 973

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By not_so_sweet_sixteen - 17/03/2009 03:10 - United States

Today, was my sixteenth birthday. I was hoping to get a car. Instead, my parents got me a 3 month membership at the gym so I can lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 495

You deserved it 55 818

By Fat Bastard - 20/05/2019 04:02

Today, my son bought me some Slimfast for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 811

You deserved it 303

By Timetoloseweight - 11/11/2009 16:03 - France

Today, for my birthday, my friends and family gave me: A Wii Fit, a free year at the gym and a book of diet recipes. They didn't consult with each other. I've asked for "something corresponding to me". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 907

You deserved it 15 378

By fatman - 10/08/2010 02:29 - United States

Today, my mom signed me up for Weight Watchers as a surprise birthday present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 688

You deserved it 11 511

Cheers

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 08:25 - Australia - Aspley

Today, for my birthday, my friend bought me a book on how to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 365

You deserved it 3 383

By fatty - 17/11/2014 21:05 - United States - Gloucester

Today, my parents gave me fat burner pills for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 937

You deserved it 5 738

By Marteeny - 09/06/2016 03:14

Today, my mom said my boobs are finally getting bigger and that I've finally hit puberty. I'll be celebrating my 31st birthday next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 143

You deserved it 1 102

By MrFerret - 06/05/2011 03:41

Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 700

You deserved it 3 395

How can I make this about me?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2022 18:01

Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 163

By Anonymous - 03/03/2011 14:21 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My parents, whom I live with, told me that they did not get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 131

You deserved it 8 324

K_kanaka 26

Saturday 3 March 2012 12:20

HAPPY BIRTHDAY :D !!!

TylerBurden 21

Saturday 3 March 2012 12:23

You can't understand it now, but in a few weeks or months, if you really hit the gym, you will love her for that present. Happy birthday!

Comments

ohgeezjacklyn 0

Sunday 4 March 2012 2:22

Mom be trolling.

BestestMama 6

Sunday 4 March 2012 4:29

I wish my mom would get me a gym membership

DocBastard 38

Sunday 4 March 2012 12:06

Edit: Damn commenting bug.

slappomatt 4

Sunday 4 March 2012 7:23

TAKE THE HINT!!!!

MagicallyFat 12

Sunday 4 March 2012 7:55

Thanks DKjazz!! And 118 your body starts burning fat after you've been running for 30-45 mins so to truly start burning fat you have to run around 45-60 mins and keep the right heart rate

scruffyindiekid 2

Sunday 4 March 2012 7:28

Did you get a cake? That'd be ironic.

mynameispickle 0

Sunday 4 March 2012 8:29

Be grateful you have a mom that cares

Tiecho 4

Sunday 4 March 2012 12:38

Who needs cake, when u can guilt and humiliation?

corynchaos 0

Sunday 4 March 2012 17:50

her moms probably a fat ass herself.

Raileigh0527 5

Sunday 4 March 2012 20:13

thats a totally awesome idea for a bday gift! motivation! happy birthday!

Keywords

Annoying Gamers Video games Abuse Birthday Relatable Social Media Money Scams Education Parents Kids School Health Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Cops Transportation Fight Family Gross Customers Work

The Top

Today, I've had a crush on a guy for a while - a friend of mine knows this. I finally decided to find out once and for all if there was any chance with him, so I drove to his house, armed with a home cooked meal and wine, only to find the very friend I confided in was at his house. It turns out they are now an item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 152

Today, I got called in for a second job interview for a position I'd applied for. When I met the interviewer, she smiled and told me to have a seat. She pulls out her phone and says, “So, care to explain this?” It was one of my TikToks from ages ago of me singing the "N-word" over and over again. I forgot I had that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 954

The Top

Today, my 30 year-old daughter was fired from her job for bad hygiene, despite getting multiple warnings and write ups. She says she’s not showering to save money, and this “inflation shit is out of control.” According to her, me and the “Demoncrats voted for it” and made it this way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 414

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 746

You deserved it 35 830

Today, I was complimented on my hat by two different people. I wasn't wearing a hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 984

You deserved it 6 371

Today, I was spending the night at my fiancé's house. He knew my period was about to start, so he asked if he needed to put a tarp down on the bed. He was dead serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 321

You deserved it 1 706

Today, after backpacking acrossing Europe for a month, I picked up my dog from the doghouse. No one will listen to me or acknowledge the fact that he's now missing two toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 489

You deserved it 2 773

Today, I got on an elevator at the mall, along with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl talking on her cell. She spent the whole ride telling the person on the other end how hideous I looked and how I look like a pregnant sperm whale. I was too humiliated to even say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 004

You deserved it 4 870

Same thing different taste

Cheers

How can I make this about me?

Top comments

Comments