Love: Today, my girlfriend hasn't spoken to me in a week, so I gave...

By Anonymous - 29/03/2015 19:54 - United States - Wheaton

Today, my girlfriend hasn't spoken to me in a week, so I gave her a call. No reply. I texted her, and got a text back saying: "Sorry, dude. Better luck next time!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 203

You deserved it 2 544

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Same thing different taste

By dumbass - 01/10/2009 20:07 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 769

You deserved it 5 873

By SugarMyBalls - 19/12/2012 23:31 - United States - Winder

Today, I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day, but no reply. After a while, I became worried so I called. She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, my best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 538

You deserved it 3 155

Either/Or

By Confused - 09/05/2022 14:00

Today, my long distance girlfriend finally responded to me, after a week of silence. Unfortunately, the response was to block me. I'm pretty sure she has found someone else, but doesn't want to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 121

Long time gone

By Anonymous - 06/08/2021 18:01

Today, I haven't heard from my girlfriend for over a week, after being in a relationship for 7 years with her. She'd called me, saying she had to care for her ex-husband because he had suffered a heart attack. Guess we're over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 139

By Nox - 06/01/2010 07:25 - United States

Today, my girlfriend accused me of not having any friends. So I sent out a mass text saying "Hey, what's up?" to prove her wrong. I didn't get any replies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 571

You deserved it 7 693

By bigdawg702 - 26/09/2009 05:34 - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend of 9 months that I was ready for marriage and start having kids. She hasn't called or texted me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 317

You deserved it 69 076

By schwange - 15/05/2010 17:07 - United States

Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 983

You deserved it 3 889

By Anonymous - 15/07/2009 02:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I didn't call her in the last few days. I tried to explain to her that I was out at my grandfather's house in a remote place with no cell service to stand by him on his death bed. She thought I was making excuses and called me a lying bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 874

You deserved it 4 560

By UnfortunatelySingle - 21/07/2015 06:15 - United States - Portland

Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 436

You deserved it 3 381

By generic_name123 - 09/03/2015 13:55 - United States - Washington

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams' phone number. After texting her "Hey, is this Stephanie?" I got response saying "Sorry bro, I know how you feel, she did the same thing to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 615

You deserved it 3 363

giantsfan2010 23

Monday 30 March 2015 9:37

Haven't talked for a week? That's where the problem starts

lukian_fml 29

Monday 30 March 2015 9:35

That's a new way to receive a breakup

Comments

lukian_fml 29

Monday 30 March 2015 9:35

That's a new way to receive a breakup

giantsfan2010 23

Monday 30 March 2015 9:37

Haven't talked for a week? That's where the problem starts

vikky538 28

Monday 30 March 2015 13:51

I think its other way around. She did not talk OP for a week.

Purexinsanity 46

Monday 30 March 2015 20:03

#26 regardless of who could start the conversation, the problem still stands that neither one is talking

benikora 8

Monday 30 March 2015 9:37

Guess the last time wasn't too great ;)

ryannmichael 17

Monday 30 March 2015 9:37

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xxmollyxx 25

Monday 30 March 2015 9:58

Perceptive.

Steffi3 40

Monday 30 March 2015 10:04

I don't think anyone 'needs' a girlfriend. Especially not if they're as rude as OP's

dragonrider1959 18

Monday 30 March 2015 14:36

#19, yeah, you shouldn't have a girlfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend

sstahpp 33

Monday 30 March 2015 15:30

What gave you that idea?!

exitium16 26

Monday 30 March 2015 9:37

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Show it anyway

funsizedliz 15

Tuesday 31 March 2015 3:01

People can't help if they're ugly :(

zehtinyapple 17

Tuesday 31 March 2015 3:59

#48 what?

IceMan11 23

Monday 30 March 2015 9:39

That's pretty brutal. How can people live with themselves...

MDoremis 38

Monday 30 March 2015 9:43

That sucks. She should have had the decency to tell you things were over.

Steffi3 40

Monday 30 March 2015 9:44

That's harsh.. You'll find someone better, OP =)

ZY1431 24

Monday 30 March 2015 9:45

that's when she no longer exists, even if she's on fire or drowning :)

jazzy735 11

Monday 30 March 2015 9:46

She seems to childish to be in an actual relationship if that's her way of breaking up. Sorry OP but I'm sure you'll find someone way better.

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Today, I discovered that when they remove your cancerous prostate, your penis will shrink by the exact length of the removed prostate back up into your body. So not only do I now need pills to get a boner, my boner has shrunk from a respectable 5 inches to just under 3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 332

You deserved it 160

Today, I decided to talk to a girl at the gym I had seen there a lot. I walked up to her at the station she was at and asked her out to dinner sometime. I didn't realize she had been wearing headphones. She took them off and asked if I was waiting on the station. My courage left. I said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 708

You deserved it 4 917

The Top

Today, I found out that my parents changed the code on our alarm system while they were out of town. The police could not verify I was their son, despite spending hours trying to get hold of them. They thought it was just another telemarketer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 584

You deserved it 1 563

Today, my dishes smelled so perfume-y after going through the dishwasher and a clean glass of water tasted soapy. I checked the pods my husband bought and loaded into the dishwasher to make sure we never got that brand again. They were laundry detergent pods. I was essentially a millennial eating a Tide Pod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 280

You deserved it 278

Today, I took a girl out on a date. We had dinner, we had good conversation, the vibe was excellent, and everything was great. I took her to a bar I frequent after for a couple of drinks to finish the night. She left with some other dude on his motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 118

Today, I caught my idiot son with a pencil up his penis, because apparently he wanted to see if he could use it to write with as a party trick to impress girls. I demanded he take it out, which he did, but the rubber eraser stayed inside his penis. Now I’m spending my Sunday holding his hand in A&E. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 734

You deserved it 244

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 441

You deserved it 9 396

Today, the cable repairman came to fix my cable, which has never worked well. The entire time he was talking about how much extra money he got the "fat bitch who moved here 6 months ago" to pay for her cable. I moved in 6 months ago. I was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 234

You deserved it 3 469

Same thing different taste

Either/Or

Long time gone

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