Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML
Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML
Today, I was doing a striptease for this guy over my webcam. I was shaking my ass while taking off my panties, but when they fell to my feet, I tripped over them and fell on my ass. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML
Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML
Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML
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Top comments
amayasoma 19
Well now I know what not to for my boyfriend. Kiss his groin better.
mpclaw 3
hey honey. it's the though that counts. a zillion guys would trade anyway,
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Comments (97)
_HeadShot_ 0
can u strip tease for me also?
missysangel 4
r u lesbo?? sicko
cantfightfate 0
1- I think she was kidding 2- really?? lesbians are sicko? grow up.
sheribb 5
lesbians FTW so stfu!
xOnlyTaeNy 0
he isn't a female. he's a guy. the picture is an idol. the idol is yuri from the famous group Girls' Generation known as So Nyeo Shi Dae in Korea.
ajfraser 3
lesbians are so hot I hope you are, can you kiss my groing better
mpclaw 3
hey honey. it's the though that counts. a zillion guys would trade anyway,
Draeven_fml 0
ily
ChampionKO 6
practice first next time ;) hint hint...
_TONGAN_ 5
No duh she was being sarcastic #7...lol
ImaginaryFoe 1
Fantastic failure. Maybe you should have studied a pro then practiced your routine first. How do you pull a muscle falling down while basically just standing around? Yikes. And you had no control over your landing pad? AND your bf couldn't dodge your bullet? Massive failure all around. Still FYL, mainly because of the last line of your post. You'll not be having spice any time soon.
iloveboyswittats 10
he was tied up. how was he supposed to move?
Cinn_fml 23
Depends how he was tied up. :P
tribridags 0
just walk around naked for a day with a Santa hat
Steve95401 49
OP definitely added some spice to their sex life but she needs to try a different recipe.
mmmonique 6
a good plan OP, just try to wear clothing that's easier to remove next time, and of course give him an amazing ******** will make up for it...
Juvihaze 0
this is a fhl, not fyl, sheesh you females will never truly understand that pain mann
hahaalolz 0
u boys arent alone, we have just as much pain when we get TITTY WACKED lol ;)
klutzycleo 5
Try period cramps ...
Jay1_fml 0
I hear giving birth is pretty painful, makes me thankful I'm a dude. all I have to do is hold her hand (whoever she may be) and scream with her xD
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
We'll never understand that particular pain. However, one of the few gender-based generalizations I've found to be true is that females are all-around better at dealing with pain. There are exceptions, of course, but it's usually pretty spot-on.
RedPillSucks 33
My wife grabbed me by the neck while she was having contractions. Perhaps it wasn't as painful as giving birth, but yikes!!!!