Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
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70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML
Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML
Today, I was doing a striptease for this guy over my webcam. I was shaking my ass while taking off my panties, but when they fell to my feet, I tripped over them and fell on my ass. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML
Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML
Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML
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Top comments
amayasoma 19
Well now I know what not to for my boyfriend. Kiss his groin better.
mpclaw 3
hey honey. it's the though that counts. a zillion guys would trade anyway,
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Comments (97)
toohottiedottie 2
um yeah 34. try giving birth. then we'll talk about pain.
laevatin 2
epic fail lol, at least you tried xD
Sawm11 0
next time let him tie you up. if anything hoes wrong, it's his fault. lol
zerobahamut03 2
lol too funny op. I can see both of you in pain and your partner not able to do anything cuz he's tied up.:( now that I think of it it's not too funny on his part. fhl.
klutzycleo 5
Big up for trying OP! I say you're hot for at least trying, hope your boyfriend appreciates the effort, and and and ... ... sorry bout the muscle you pulled, and the damage [you] caused to his man bits (:
gixxer922 0
ouch what was the safety word
mmctex3 0
at least you tried. I wish my girlfriend was like you.
jeremyt8nc 6
yes it is :)
Shaggy_92 5
ha wow, I bet that was funny. also sounded kinkly ;) lol (jk) for the peeps that cant tell
Smyth 3
look down. you're tied up. look up. your girlfriend is stripping for you. look down again. she's about to trip. look up again. she's tripping. look down. she elbowed you in the groin. I'm on a horse. THATS spice.
sammehsaurus 0
Haha you made my day:) thank you sir.