Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML
Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML
Today, I was doing a striptease for this guy over my webcam. I was shaking my ass while taking off my panties, but when they fell to my feet, I tripped over them and fell on my ass. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML
Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML
Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML
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Top comments
amayasoma 19
Well now I know what not to for my boyfriend. Kiss his groin better.
mpclaw 3
hey honey. it's the though that counts. a zillion guys would trade anyway,
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Comments (97)
Lils123 0
Ho hum >:{ Maybe you shouldve just like not worn heels? <_< maybe you should practice in the mirror or something c:<
allylav 0
:O!!! How come I didn't get an E-mail for this!? This is my FML I guess I forgot to sign in when I posted it. FML again... This just made my life that this got on here. Makes what happend more bareable. :/
Karnezar 2
Looks like her SPICE was a RECIPE for disaster :B
lalagurl11 6
you killed the mood
Albarufus 13
A for effort!
kiara16 0
Epic fail;P
krisskrossed 5
You jalepeno peppered your relationship xD
jarrettd 27
That's really spicy.
Kkkdawg 27
I feel like this is something I would end up doing if I tried to be sexy. It sucks that it didn't go well, but at least you have the balls to take charge and try to spice it up. I'm way too shy to try that shit.