Money: Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to...

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 11:39 - Canada

Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 647

You deserved it 9 034

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/01/2014 17:47 - United States - New Milford

Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 087

You deserved it 9 507

Assumptions

By adriana - 01/09/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills. She said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 335

You deserved it 4 586

Drunken antics

By qx5 - 08/01/2011 22:05 - Canada

Today, I put my paycheck in my wallet, intending to cash it in the next day. Later on, I met up with a friend and went to a party. I ended up getting so drunk, I gave away my $400 check in exchange for a pack of smokes, thinking it was a $5 bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 522

You deserved it 58 077

Everything is clean

By Anonymous - 17/01/2020 18:00

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 753

You deserved it 235

By bakedplum - 01/11/2011 17:52 - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 799

You deserved it 23 815

Scratch cards

By Just my luck - 15/02/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I was gambling on pull tabs. My friend, never much of a gambler, asked to take one. I was confused but gave one to him anyway. I got precisely $0 from them. The tab I gave to my friend was a winner. How much was it worth, you ask? Six hundred dollars. I'm very happy for him, but… seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 336

By Anonymous - 15/10/2013 00:14 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my friend texted me from a bar, saying they had just called my name in a raffle to win a trip to Aspen, CO. You had to be at the bar to claim the prize. I had left the bar half-an-hour earlier, not knowing they were even having a raffle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 677

You deserved it 4 434

By bluntedone - 03/02/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 034

You deserved it 52 141

By greenhide8 - 28/05/2011 05:27 - United States

Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 007

You deserved it 46 100

By joedoe - 18/07/2009 06:03 - United States

Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 Monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 924

You deserved it 51 580

pwnrzero 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 20:12

you got the 200 dollars and most money goes through much grosser stuff anyway, without you knowing deal with it, and take it like a a mature human being! [i couldn't say man because i didnt know if you are a man]

untoldfame 3

Saturday 30 May 2009 20:35

so, you go to a strip club, looking at the strippers, giving them money, but when they try giving you money you think its gross? maybe you should give it to them in envolopes next time :)

Comments

bballman3113 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 7:03

haha

1234five 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 7:17

Wouldn't a guy like that..?

threegp 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 7:34

HAHAHA, no wonder you are a stripper! You can barely piece together a sentence.

alwaysalady 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 7:46

Wow. Dirty money, for real.

ful_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 8:09

"Today, I won $200 and got a good joke, too. FML"... You poor thing, you...

YLS 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 8:12

"I won money, but I'm grossed out by it because I actually know for certain where it's been, FML?" I'm sure half the bills and coins in your wallet aren't precisely pristine. I'm sure they've been exposed to all sorts of germs, dirt, etc. from being touched by thousands of people, being dropped on the ground, etc. Just because you know for a fact that some of those bills were against someone's body (probably a cleaner area than their hands, too) makes them somehow dirtier than any other bill? I can understand the "eeewww" but Jesus Christ, you got free money. Don't bitch, especially with the economy going the way it is.

AmpulexCompressa 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 8:19

"Oh no, I just won $200, waaaah! Waaaaah!"

blehargh 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 8:29

How is free money an FML? Also... If you're a guy, shouldn't you be happy? If you're a lesbian, shouldn't you be happy? If you're a straight woman, what the **** are you doing in a strip club?