Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he started laughing. I still don't know what he did. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML
Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML
Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom after he had been in there a while. I found him with his pants down, looking at a pimple on his butt in the mirror. He asked me for, "Help." FML
Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML
Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML
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Top comments
aleximo 18
Question is, do you really want to know what he did?
Varieus 30
He may have done nothing, and just finds the situation funny like an immature kid?
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Comments (129)
hamzor 5
Don't worry, he seems to love biology. He may have been exploring your anatomy that's all :)
NineInchSacks 11
In what way does this FML suggest that her boyfriend has any interest in biology?
sig4life 18
Don't worry, #12, read it again. This time sound out the words in you head. Bi ology is not there.
lenehey 7
I agree -- He probably just enjoyed hearing you say the word "anus.". Some guys just never grow up. Try some cortisone cream and if it doesn't go away, see your doctor.
tg210 6
You guys know he's kidding right!?!?!?!
rivaraven 35
He probably laughed because it's funny.
Dave_Davington 33
You've probably got worms, as well as an immature boyfriend.
NParks70 8
Worms?
ColonelFML 17
Pin worms. They are fairly easy to exterminate, just with the right medicine.
Ashamed_Sister 60
Maybe you feel better if you don't know.
superman21_fml 19
Maybe he switched your toothpaste and your hemorrhoid cream...
parism143 28
FML references are my favourite.
StzaCrack666 18
you need a more exciting life
karlcolt45 19
he just knows you don't wipe. shame on you
HelloooooNurse 20
Have you eaten any questionable truck stop sandwiches lately?
fsomelife 26
You mean the eggs in that sandwich were....
HelloooooNurse 20
Correct, worm eggs and the mayonnaise was none too fresh either.
reinmon8823 11
haha gotta love futurama references
abusch 9
A true gentleman would offer to scratch that itch for you..
Nyarlothatep 12
And I'm sure he would know exactly how to scratch that itch...
magickitten 26
If you said to him exactly how you've written it in your FML, then he's probably as immature as me - I laughed when I read this. Possibly just because of the word 'anus'. *I'm laughing right now*