Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he started laughing. I still don't know what he did. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML
Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML
Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom after he had been in there a while. I found him with his pants down, looking at a pimple on his butt in the mirror. He asked me for, "Help." FML
Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML
Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML
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Top comments
aleximo 18
Question is, do you really want to know what he did?
Varieus 30
He may have done nothing, and just finds the situation funny like an immature kid?
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Comments (129)
sergei_yusef 11
When in doubt, scratch it out.
esfox83 17
Take a bath
laxbrosive 4
I read the first line as I woke up with a stranger itching my anus. hahhahaa
thereal167 1
Do you think maybe you forgot to wipe well
nyctophobia 5
rape.
Meanmommy02 11
I don't think even if there was anal itching I could tell or ask my SO if he did anything mine would laugh simply because it would be unexpected of a lady to talk about that..
sweggy 5
itching powder.. u dirty mindes
marzforlife 8
Calm down, it's just a bad case of swamp ass... I hope... For your sake....
ktr420 1
if you have a bf why are you waking up with strangers
rocker_chick23 27
She isn't, simpleton. Re-read the FML
iwusinger47 2
She said she woke up with a strange itch, not a stranger. LMFAO
AnaRchist91 8
maybe since ur anus is itching. he things u need a good anal sex thats why he was laughing. .