Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he started laughing. I still don't know what he did. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML
Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML
Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom after he had been in there a while. I found him with his pants down, looking at a pimple on his butt in the mirror. He asked me for, "Help." FML
Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML
Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML
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Top comments
aleximo 18
Question is, do you really want to know what he did?
Varieus 30
He may have done nothing, and just finds the situation funny like an immature kid?
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Comments (129)
itsjusttofunny 8
He probably poked your bum while you were sleeping.....
PattonGilette2 18
AAA
buckdharma 38
As Lawrence would say, " Watch out for your cornhole," op.
Manginyc 8
why would you even tell him?
rockhead1270 5
Why is it his fault? I don't blame my wife if my ass itches, must you have a problem? Hmmmm. Are you from Cornhole Kansas?
Dkman 11
See. This is where you guys are wrong. You assumed he tried anal in her sleep. First, that's illegal. Second. For anyone who's tried or anal they'll tell you. IT HURTS. All the girls I've talked to said it felt like they were being torn open. That and if it went on long enough, you have to really poop. So I'm guessing the latter and pretty sure he just found her comment funny
rockhead1270 5
Where I'm from assholes ain't for cocks
tymarie2012 31
If people play with the butthole enough to relax it, anal doesn't hurt. Plus you have to use lube.
angela_ahoyy 6
Maybe you should go to the doctor, if it persists.
metalhead88 9
Sure he didn't give you the herp
FemskyD 26
I'd laugh if that was the first thing my boyfriend said in the morning!!
bianconero_fml 2
As a doctor i can tell you that he ****** you in ur ass
awesomeamandas 37
As a doctor you should know if he tried anal sex with her she would be in pain and would have most likely woken up, unless she was drugged or is a very very heavy sleeper. And if she sleeps with clothes on she would have woken up from him trying to pull her pants and underwear down.