Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he started laughing. I still don't know what he did. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML
Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML
Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom after he had been in there a while. I found him with his pants down, looking at a pimple on his butt in the mirror. He asked me for, "Help." FML
Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML
Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML
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Top comments
aleximo 18
Question is, do you really want to know what he did?
Varieus 30
He may have done nothing, and just finds the situation funny like an immature kid?
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Comments (129)
martin8337 36
Knocking at your back door.
martin8337 36
OP, I hope that you are a female..
mylovebree 2
why?who cares if it was t guys or not
BrownSuspenders 4
Now you have 2 hemorrhoids. Preparation H will shrink one, but you will need to say good bye to the other one.
snugglesMcGee199 23
This is funny, even if it's not appropriate to the FML.
JustClaire95 13
I'm making a nasty eww face right now
nickmoore 12
I think you were butt raped
jonjonguapito 15
Your BF (or you, in case of you having a temporary amnesia) did not wash his hands when he ate something spicy, touched your butt and there, instant itch. Either way, don't sniff your butt. its weird and gross.
awesomeamandas 37
Actually if he had spices on his hands her ass would be burning.
nitrog100 21
You woke up your boyfriend to tell him that your moon door was itchy. Of course he would find it amusing.
mccrightp 29
What he probably did was hear you say that you "have a strange and itchy feeling" in your anus! It's immature but I'm laughing right now!
RANDALL4801 11
maybe ur imagining things and he wanted to make u worry
mynameisfinn 4
i feel like a doctor was a good idea before a public site