Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he started laughing. I still don't know what he did. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML
Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML
Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom after he had been in there a while. I found him with his pants down, looking at a pimple on his butt in the mirror. He asked me for, "Help." FML
Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML
Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML
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Top comments
aleximo 18
Question is, do you really want to know what he did?
Varieus 30
He may have done nothing, and just finds the situation funny like an immature kid?
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Comments (129)
AHopelessDeath 12
and that right there..this EXACT situation, is most definitely one of my biggest and most horribly frightening fears...........n guys are ****** evil as well as anus obsessed like that......that not only is absolutely terrifying, but its also quite a mind **** cause hes cruel enough to **** with you on top of what the **** ever he did....uhhhhggg! noooooo bueno....that WHOLE ****** situation is completely...just.....horrible, terrifying, and flat out wrong........f your life DEFINITELY.....i REALLY ****** hope my man doesnt get this messed up idea.....or ANY even remotely like it.......horrible :'[ makes meh sad....as well as frustrated, to think about....i am sorry for you......most truely, i am.
barlos88 19
Bleach?
Libbiey 6
Uhm.. I'm fairly certain most everyone would laugh at that statement, regardless. People don't tend to go around saying their anus itches.
outoftown 27
Hope you're fine by now. If not, a vaginal yeast infection can also cause serious itchy-butt.
taylor_57 2
It's not rape if you say suprise
AngelCrunch_fml 2
That sucks. if it was anything serious wouldn't you wake up?
darkfireflame 15
Itching powder probably.
maliwu 2
Maybe your boyfriend was just in a childish mood I mean if anyone told me they had a "strange and itchy feeling" in their anus I'd probably laugh at them too
Mysthunter 13
Sorry, I would laugh too...come on.
sasha_mizaree 6
If he did do something to your anus while you were asleep, it's called ******* sexual assault and not funny at all.