Intimacy: Clenched

Clenched

By Lovergirl - 01/01/2010 20:23 - United States

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 799

You deserved it 3 945

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Same thing different taste

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 281

You deserved it 4 015

Blasted

By coolest_mom - 25/11/2015 06:00

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 047

You deserved it 2 968

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 315

You deserved it 5 073

Crack wars

By Grimmy - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Brunswick

Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 143

You deserved it 10 151

Threat Neutralized

By Anonymous - 23/07/2018 18:36 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 316

You deserved it 730

Leaked

By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 746

You deserved it 893

By Thanks Honey - 05/06/2013 15:08 - United States

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 603

You deserved it 5 196

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 928

You deserved it 6 528

By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 455

You deserved it 809

Time to flee the crime scene

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 10:00

Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 871

GeekLogic 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 1:26

A skunk's defense against the buttsecks?

Fmypanda 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 1:32

**** your husband's life.

Comments

GeekLogic 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 1:26

A skunk's defense against the buttsecks?

beckybecks20 8

Thursday 13 October 2011 1:58

That's ******* hilarious. XD

itz_tizzy_bitch 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 1:30

hahahahah accuride lol

Fmypanda 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 1:32

**** your husband's life.

kittehkat87 4

Saturday 4 September 2010 20:37

For him, this can be considered a "shitty" situation!

NuTrees 9

Tuesday 28 June 2011 16:43

XD hehehe

ILoveMyLifeSoMuc 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 1:38

#3 yes

GiddyXD 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 22:48

agreed:)

GiRIsMakingCupca 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 1:46

uhm yep :)

jamjenni2774 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 1:48

why in the hell would u b in bed with no panties on knowing damn well that u have the 's That is just nasty, but funny as hell.

misha1995 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 2:09

She never said she was pantyless

BigMacBoi 3

Monday 5 September 2011 1:44

6- Please leave.

rlet 1

Saturday 2 January 2010 1:57

this is really disgusting but funny at the same time hahahah

Idiot_Savant 0

Saturday 14 August 2010 6:10

agreed ;)

thinmint 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 2:28

lol that is fantastic!

perdix 29

Saturday 2 January 2010 2:30

That's a sure way to end domestic violence. Of course, your sex life also probably left the building at the same moment. Sorry.

fmlstalker 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 2:31

hahahaha. sorry i just laughed at this. FYL indeed.

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Frustration Capitalism Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Mental health Health

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You deserved it 2 244

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You deserved it 771

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I agree, your life sucks 8 643

You deserved it 28 879

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I agree, your life sucks 2 149

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Same thing different taste

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