Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend snuck out of my room so he could have sex with my mom in the next room. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML
Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML
Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
bacincheeseburge 9
is she still married to your dad?
brutal_banger 10
and that's why you give her the key when your really going away
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Comments (101)
iamghostbad 0
lawl. I woulda played "let's get it on" really loud through the house and watch for a naked guy running out xD
x_HELLo_tHERE_x 0
You genius!
sks4613 1
dude don't lie you laid there and rubbed one out..... then when you realize it was your mom you ran straight for the John to do it again.
perdix 31
Now this dude knows where you live in case Mom is unavailable the next time he is horny. Sleep tight!
Newbie21 1
your mom is a disrespectful *****
cartermc17 0
dumb ass
ModernWarfare3_fml 0
69 YDI's, lolol
ledamonsterbunny 0
that's ****** nasty. :
Serec 0
She thought you were out of town while he was going to town! (lame joke)
hjrn 0
sorry your mom is a ***** must suck for you.
KurouTenshi 0
you should stress if your mom is still married or not, either way she must be a MILF so if she's single I'll have my pen and paper ready for them digits! ;)