Tithing your ass? Is that some kind of butt sex thing? I'm not going to look it up in Urban Dictionary -- I might get traumatized again! And to think you want to do that with your mother? Ick!!!

I can't figure out if I'm more worried about your mom, or your ass...

You know, they only ask you to give -10%- of your ass.

Your mother is an idiot. I'm sorry.

How are those churches and televangelists even legal?

Ah, so called "Prosperity Gospel." Jesus made a whip of cords and chased money changers around and overturned their tables for this kind of shit.

Okay either she got it wrong or you’re explaining it wrong. Basically Job 42:10 (a Bible verse) explains a man who once had everything, then lost everything, was angry at God but then was redeemed, prayed for his friends and the lord gave him twice as much as he had before. Why? Because prior to that verse, the lord was commanding someone to give an offering. Basically the belief is that the lord will bless us with twice more than we had before if we give what we have to those He calls us to. If we selfishly give with the expectation of getting rich or making bank, it def won’t work. So if your mom did that just to profit, that’s not how it works and she’ll be very disappointed but if she did it to honestly serve the lord, then shell be blessed.

oh God won't you buy me a TV.....