Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML
Today, after spending hours putting up our tree and decorating it, it fell over and shattered the glass ornaments. FML
Today, nothing said Christmas quite like my dad taking 18 shots of vodka, falling on the Christmas tree while holding our 3-year-old cousin and denying it ever happened when he woke up later. FML
Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML
Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML
Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML
Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year-old guy. FML
Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML
Today, my apartment was broken into. The thief stole my TV, $350, and my Christmas tree. There is still a trail of broken ornaments from my living room to the door. FML
Today, my family and I noticed that our Christmas tree had been stolen from our front garden. Last night, a group of girls from my village posted a status on Facebook stating how drunk they were, and how they had stolen a Christmas tree. I "liked" it. FML
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Top comments
ninjaboy18 6
Looks like Santa and your mom had a good time.
JustLikeTheStars 10
Your mom knows how to party! Lmao.
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Comments (92)
The_F3rris 11
Booze strikes again!
Authoress14 15
How in the would does the OP deserve this?
senor_awesome 14
By being alive, apparently. Oh, and by being selfish enough to want things to turn out right. How dare they have these foolish expectations!
CharDee 15
Oh that sucks
CharDee 15
Oh that sucks.... At least she wasn't kissing Santa .... Hope your day gets better
spookykat 5
Sorry to hear
jem970 19
That sucks im so sorry OP. Slap your mother and throw her alcholic ass into rehab. Thats no ok and its certainly not funny.
metalmods94 8
Merry Christmas to you too!
isamisis 9
This isn't unusual in New Jersey.
BadKitty13 28
So how do you know the mom had Sex with anyone. The FML says that the tree was knocked over, unwrapped presents and Mom passed out on the couch with a bottle. It does not specify that she was naked ....... It still sucks that you had to wake up to that ......
False_Stupidity 42
It's an assumption, half the fun with FML is imagining what else might have gone on.
raphael1123 13
That's what I call: 12 Days of Shots. Fa-la-la-la-la-lala-la-----...zzzz