jeffcarp
Cesenatico, Italy 🌶️ Spicy
Mint taste
Today, my wife stopped mid blowjob because it tasted too clean, like my mint shower gel. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Lucas
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Smells like victory
Today, during oral sex, my wife squirted, which she’s never done before, and I was so surprised I accidentally breathed it straight up my nose. It’s been 3 hours and it’s still all I can smell FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
Canada
Ewwwwwww
Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
ThatIsNotIt
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Underperforming
Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML
Anonymous
New Zealand 🌶️ Spicy
It's getting hot in here…
Today, my wife surprised me with a blow job. Turns out it was a punishment for not doing the washing, as she did it with Chilli powder in her mouth. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Poop chute
Today, after her shower, my wife bent over naked in front of me so I went to dive in face-first, and she farted in my face for laughs. The thing is I physically saw some pieces of shit fly out and land on my shoe, and this was after her shower when she should have been clean as a whistle. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Crotch rot of the mouth
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
unendowed
Katy, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Time consumed
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent the next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
buymeflavoredlube
🌶️ Spicy
Spit or Swallow?
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a long blowjob and had to pause for a minute because my mouth became exceedingly dry. His solution? Spit directly in my mouth. FML
shotdown
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Stop! Hammertime!
Today, in the middle of hot passionate sex with my husband, he stops and tells me he won't be able to finish until I go brush my teeth. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife stopped halfway through a blowjob to check a notification on her phone for a game. FML
Top comments
MidnaLink 35
I don’t get it. Would she rather stinky and gross?
SJKatt 15
"Too clean" "Tasted like shower gel" In my house we call that NOT CLEAN ENOUGH. Rinse your skin better. Clean isn't just the absence of dirt. You leaving gel behind? That's on you.
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Comments (8)
MidnaLink 35
I don’t get it. Would she rather stinky and gross?
RichardPencil 32
Makes sense. Now she'll never be able to suck a candy cane the same way again. You need to invest in that shower gel that tastes like another woman's hoo-hah. That'll make her work extra hard down there! ;)
mfranks19891989 10
Guess she not use to sucking a clean penis. She must be one of those nasty women that suck dirty penis for $10
SJKatt 15
"Too clean" "Tasted like shower gel" In my house we call that NOT CLEAN ENOUGH. Rinse your skin better. Clean isn't just the absence of dirt. You leaving gel behind? That's on you.
jkjorn 18
Reminds me of the time my wife told me I tasted like Irish Spring, saying "it's manly, yes, but I like it too!" Good times.
Charity Taylor 17
I beg to differ. If you taste like your soap you didn't rinse it off well enough. YDI
paranoidaf 7
one time I did that because he sprayed cologne on his junk 🤮
rotflqtms_ 21
No one wants to eat shower gel. Wash that off better. Maybe she used the wrong words, but eating soap isn't pleasant. (Not that giving a bj seems any more pleasant than eating soap... but why make it worse with bad tastes too?)