By Anonymous - United States
Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML
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  iSitt  |  0

extract a saliva sample from the sandwich, analyze the DNA, splice it with the bird's, create a half man half bird superhero and call it Stan and tell it "I'm your father, Luke".
Then send it on a mission to track down the original DNA person.

  TheDrifter  |  23

Nono it was just a poor grammar moment on the part of the gifter. If you look at it my way you just got a thoughtful gift of Christmas dinner from a hobo named Stan.

  starile  |  19

Maybe the gift giver wanted to give Stan a sandwich and a pet bird. The bird ate half the sandwich to survive, but there weren't air holes in the nicely wrapped box so it died :/ Pass it off to Stan.