By Anonymous - 23/10/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
I agree, your life sucks 58 262
You deserved it 4 591

Same thing different taste

Top comments

DinosaursAreCool_fml 8

That's nasty (Cleveland voice)

Oh god...I just threw up a little. Cockroach free at least.


LiveLaughFML 10

you could only get away with that if you were a resident at Hogwarts.

Did the fact that you threw up a cockroach make you throw up again? Because I know it almost made me throw up.

Princessx3Jamie 0

if you throw up a little each time you brush your teeth and tounge doesn't that defeat the purpose of cleaning ypur mouth anyway lol?

Yeah, that occurred to me also. Throwing up while brushing your teeth shouldn't come off as usual

SirEBC 7

Pretty sure OP meant that gagging was usual, not throwing up. Lrn2read. Oh, and hello thread jackers.

41- when she said throwing up the cockroach was unusual she implied that throwing up with no cockroach is usual. Lrn2read.

Kinda sounds like an orbits gum commercial.

LiveLaughFML 10

#44: clean it up with Orbit! now in new, styling packs.

I'm surprised it's an everyday occurrence for OP to gag themselves till they "throw up a little."

41 there's so many errors in your comment, to save yourself the humiliation I won't point any out.

Perhaps the fact that your gaping hole is a vomit haven is the reason you have roaches vacationing there.

thesoccerone7 3

Let's take a look at her sentence for a second, the "as usual" came directly after "while I was brushing my tongue, I gagged" thus meaning the gagging while cleaning her tongue was usual. Now if the statement had said "and as usual, I threw up a little" that would indicate throwing up was usual. So before you begin to bash others for learning to read, make sure you learn the English language first.

SirEBC 7

/me sighs I told myself I wouldn't do this; however, it has been too long, and though I do not have my counterparts here to help fight for this lost cause, I will battle valiantly until either the stupid overtakes me, or some kind deity comes and deletes the comments. Fire away. Please point out my alleged numerous errors. And Drwhateveritis, feel free to join. /me wields sword and shield Edit: It looks like 95 has some sense, unlike the majority here.

well.. how'd the little critter get in their? ^_^

hotPinklipstick 24

It's been proven that people swollow insects all the time without knowing it, up to 10 a day. Considering OP just woke up, the cockroach more than likely crawled in his/her mouth while he/she was asleep. It's not unusual.

^ So I'm not really vegetarian? Oh, the humanity!!

are you trying to give us nightmares #109

welandedonthemoo 5
IndiRae 9

109- whether or not it's a common thing doesn't make it any less ******* discusting. If I puked up a cockroach, and someone looked at me and said that it was a pretty normal thing and that there was likely nine more in my stomach, it wouldn't make things ok. And I've gagged while brushing my teeth before, but never thrown up, I think OP needs to take their extreme brushing down a couple notches.

yazmi_09 3

I'm sleeping with a mouth cover now ????????

Yea ... I heard that happens alot Also.. But it doesn't make ne less disgusting. I also heard it happens more with spiders tho.. But I could be wrong.

Not necessarily an extreme brushing problem...some people have a strong gag reflex and friends daughter is like that

RomoniReed 6

No, 114 it actually happens. More than you know.

OP is a demon, and how did they not notice it in the shower?

Idk probably cause she didn't know it was in her stomach at the time?...

hotPinklipstick 24

118 I never said it isn't gross, I just stated it's not unusual. I find it quite horrifying actually.

iloveboyswittats 10

Actually the swallowing a bug thing is a myth. A college professor started it to see how many people he could convince. It was an experiment to see how many people never check the sources of information and simply believe what they hear.

Since when is throwing up when you brush your teeth normal?

amayasoma 19

That's disgusting. That makes me scared to go to sleep now after reading this.

Or maybe what you are saying is a myth. Unless you spoke to the professor yourself how do you even know the truth? A wise person once said Google can give you 30,000 answers to one question. A librarian can give you the right one.

dontpanic_fml 32

Type "8 spiders a year" into Snopes, 245. I'd believe Snopes over a librarian any day.

Trilogy 1

That's disgusting you sick little demented child; Eating bugs and shit. Hmmm

It wouldn't be too unusual except that cockroaches are massive insects not to mention disgusting...

I wonder if the OP just happened to have his girlfriend put a reward system for him when he brushes his teeth...

then why do i always wake up hungry? >.> i must be eating the skinny bugs. hmph.

It's not that you eat the bugs in your sleep, you eat them in your food. That can of soup you opened yeah those carrots had spiders on them at one point and maybe the spiders little leg came off and stuck onto it. Aka spider leg in soup. It happens alot with chocolate, just think about how things are made, who is looking for daddy long legs? The cockroach is gross though, that would have had to be in whatever they ate before they went to bed. Maybe it dropped in their late night cereal and OP thought it was just a coco puff.

Scands_59 14

Don't say that! The area I live in has a very big population of scorpions...:'(

bamagrl410 31

I believe 220 is correct. My roommate recently studied that in her health class. Bugs don't actually crawl in your mouth as you sleep. Well... unless you're the OP... but they do end up processed in your food. She then told me that spiders are most commonly processed in peanut butter. Mmm protein.

ChrisTheCalm 9

Yes, she is. Who's gonna start duct taping there mouth shut at night? Me!!

so... 220.... this is what you...... heard?

sweet_blue 3

My sister in law and her husband gag atleast 5 times when they brush their teeth. It's pretty gross

Actually i often gag while brushing my teeth, once or twice i even threw up stomach fluid. I really am that sensible to things in my mouth. Guess no deepthroating for my guy.

crazyladydaisy 4
VIPwhenever 15

Wouldn't the bugs be dissolved by your stomach acid?

Time to sleep with one of those doctor mask things

That was actually a scam to show that people believe anything that they see on the internet

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
kewlkate 9

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Actually it's an undercover grammer nazi. It's disguised as an extremely typo-tolerant punctuation nazi.

47 If I was cheese, I'd wear a hat too.

youngbuck10 9

I think you meant GRAMMAR nazi. Thanks!

Grammar shouldn't be in all capital letters, in fact in the middle of a sentence it shouldn't be in capital letters at all ;)

Actually, while "grammar" doesn't need to be capitalized, it needs to be in quotation marks to signify that it is not being used for its definition. Sorry, I'm not a grammar nazi, but I had to join in on this thread. I'm sure it's better than me saying, "C-C-COMBO BREAKER!" :P

Actually, it would be "grammatical nazi". 'Nuff said.

the comments above made me laugh more than the actual post lol

Mewzakuro240 0

Probably about as good as good as your grammar, cowboy.

Dreamkiller51 5

2- just take Timon & Pumba's word "it taste like chicken"

280- hahahahaha is actually grammar nazi!! that's funny

Am I the only one who noticed it should say "what does it taste like?" or "how does it taste?" and not "how does it taste like?"?

no smarty. there was about a dozen comments on the topic. forget think before you you speak, read before you type, bro! reeeeaaaaddd!!!

#366 The Americans seem to do it all the time. "How I think my hair looks like"..."How my hair really looks like" They seem to think that's okay.

Oh god...I just threw up a little. Cockroach free at least.

That happened to me once, except I threw up a family of spiders. Let's just say my arachnophobia had a field day. (they were live spiders and a few tried webbing back into my mouth

thats so gross!! i would have thrown up again after realizing that was inside of me. ewww

missmady 0

does anybody else have a hard time believing 53's comment?

gunmania0 12

Yes 139. I also have a hard time believing that that is you in your display picture.

Christ on a jetski, 53's comment is as bad as 3 guys 1 baby. O_o

Their both like guns! 1 ****(roach) and they blow!

MeMareeh 0

Love '' Christ on a jetski'' gotta remember that one :o)

Chloe2008 0

I would never be able to eat again.....

How can she stand throwing up every time she brushes her teeth.

53s comment is not that hard to believe, I heard that people swallow at least 2 spiders a year, mostly in their sleep... nasty stuff.

274, I think the gag is usual, but I certainly hope not throwing up...Else OP will be caught in a state of perpetually brushing his/her teeth.

DinosaursAreCool_fml 8

That's nasty (Cleveland voice)

JennaLuvr 0
Bbhd05 0

Oh Noo! Gay dude from family guy voice.

KiddNYC1O 20
Georgieeporgiee 9
donutdestroy 4

Haha, that was possibly funnier than the post.

Brushing your teeth... your doing it wrong.

Oh DinasaursAreCool, you're what the Spanish call, "El Terrreeblay..."

Iamaninchworm 0

199- when you brush your teeth your suppose to brush your tongue because bacteria grows on it.

someoneO_O 4

henennn Sweet! (peter laugh and voice)

labudamike 6

When I ready it I read it in my head with the Cleveland voice anyways before seeing the the words in the parenthesis

labudamike 6

When I ready it I read it in my head with the Cleveland voice anyways before seeing the the words in the parenthesis

^ the old pedophile man in love with chris

SimoneDymond 3
2ndSucks 15

Look. At. Her hair. No, but really. That was a useless comment. It's not even worth it to grammar nazi you.

borkchop1992 15

Isnt it supposed to be and showered. Cuz waking up showered sounds a bit weird ;)

Oh my! I'm wondering how did the cockroach went into your mouth

She's from Singapore. Maybe English isn't her first language. If you understood what was meant, what does it matter?

superangryandy 2

Singapore also belonged to the UK, dumbass.

I think the worst part is that she has no idea how it could have went into her mouth lol

Pandamimo, I come from a country called South Africa. We were also colonized by the British and lived under their rule for quite some time. We have no less than 11 official languages, English being one of them. I can assure you that the majority of people in South Africa cannot speak English, let alone read or write it. So, actually, your point is invalid.

krnpanda 2

Probably alive. You would feel it squirming around.

OH MY GOD! I JUST THREW UP A COCKROACH! Oh god, honey, you have to see a doctor about that! Who knows what that could have done! NO! THE WORLD OF FML MUST KNOW!

Huh pretty sure they carry diseases Dumbass

He said SERIOUS diseases. Learn to read before you call somebody a dumbass.

Cockroaches can carry ecoli. (or however you spell it)

I think everyone hates you(((o(*???*)o)))?

ashes1005 0

Either way a disease is a disease ans hopefully it didnt lay eggs inaide her how gross would that be