Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
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By
DinosaursAreCool_fml
| 8
That's nasty (Cleveland voice)
By
shellzy
| 20
Oh god...I just threw up a little. Cockroach free at least.
COMMENTS
By
Blissfull_Sin
| 7
Gross... That's not cool
Reply
LiveLaughFML
| 10
you could only get away with that if you were a resident at Hogwarts.
Reply
DrDilllonReese
| 12
Did the fact that you threw up a cockroach make you throw up again? Because I know it almost made me throw up.
Reply
Zya_fml
| 8
Why would it ever be cool anyways?
Reply
Princessx3Jamie
| 0
if you throw up a little each time you brush your teeth and tounge doesn't that defeat the purpose of cleaning ypur mouth anyway lol?
Reply
DrDilllonReese
| 12
Yeah, that occurred to me also. Throwing up while brushing your teeth shouldn't come off as usual
Reply
EvilPotato
| 14
Stop eating cockroaches then OP.
Reply
SirEBC
| 7
Pretty sure OP meant that gagging was usual, not throwing up. Lrn2read.
Oh, and hello thread jackers.
Oh, and hello thread jackers.
Reply
DrDilllonReese
| 12
41- when she said throwing up the cockroach was unusual she implied that throwing up with no cockroach is usual. Lrn2read.
Reply
slick5880
| 22
Kinda sounds like an orbits gum commercial.
Reply
LiveLaughFML
| 10
#44: clean it up with Orbit! now in new, styling packs.
Reply
akallaan
| 7
I'm surprised it's an everyday occurrence for OP to gag themselves till they "throw up a little."
Reply
EvilPotato
| 14
41 there's so many errors in your comment, to save yourself the humiliation I won't point any out.
Reply
You_Need_Soap
| 6
Perhaps the fact that your gaping hole is a vomit haven is the reason you have roaches vacationing there.
Reply
thesoccerone7
| 3
Let's take a look at her sentence for a second, the "as usual" came directly after "while I was brushing my tongue, I gagged" thus meaning the gagging while cleaning her tongue was usual. Now if the statement had said "and as usual, I threw up a little" that would indicate throwing up was usual. So before you begin to bash others for learning to read, make sure you learn the English language first.
Reply
SirEBC
| 7
/me sighs
I told myself I wouldn't do this; however, it has been too long, and though I do not have my counterparts here to help fight for this lost cause, I will battle valiantly until either the stupid overtakes me, or some kind deity comes and deletes the comments.
Fire away. Please point out my alleged numerous errors. And Drwhateveritis, feel free to join.
/me wields sword and shield
Edit: It looks like 95 has some sense, unlike the majority here.
I told myself I wouldn't do this; however, it has been too long, and though I do not have my counterparts here to help fight for this lost cause, I will battle valiantly until either the stupid overtakes me, or some kind deity comes and deletes the comments.
Fire away. Please point out my alleged numerous errors. And Drwhateveritis, feel free to join.
/me wields sword and shield
Edit: It looks like 95 has some sense, unlike the majority here.
Reply
ohxdamnxkay02
| 12
well.. how'd the little critter get in their? ^_^
Reply
Alleged_Cranium
| 7
Dead or alive?
Reply
hotPinklipstick
| 24
It's been proven that people swollow insects all the time without knowing it, up to 10 a day. Considering OP just woke up, the cockroach more than likely crawled in his/her mouth while he/she was asleep. It's not unusual.
Reply
urdirtyolduncle
| 15
^ So I'm not really vegetarian? Oh, the humanity!!
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indianguyinuk
| 12
are you trying to give us nightmares #109
Reply
welandedonthemoo
| 5
So true. I heard about that
Reply
IndiRae
| 9
109- whether or not it's a common thing doesn't make it any less fucking discusting. If I puked up a cockroach, and someone looked at me and said that it was a pretty normal thing and that there was likely nine more in my stomach, it wouldn't make things ok.
And I've gagged while brushing my teeth before, but never thrown up, I think OP needs to take their extreme brushing down a couple notches.
And I've gagged while brushing my teeth before, but never thrown up, I think OP needs to take their extreme brushing down a couple notches.
Reply
yazmi_09
| 3
I'm sleeping with a mouth cover now ????????
Reply
Blissfull_Sin
| 7
Yea ... I heard that happens alot Also.. But it doesn't make ne less disgusting. I also heard it happens more with spiders tho.. But I could be wrong.
Reply
julz0125
| 5
Not necessarily an extreme brushing problem...some people have a strong gag reflex and puke...my friends daughter is like that
Reply
RomoniReed
| 6
No, 114 it actually happens. More than you know.
Reply
RacerX1695
| 1
OP is a demon, and how did they not notice it in the shower?
Reply
eaglesfootball
| 1
Idk probably cause she didn't know it was in her stomach at the time?...
Reply
hotPinklipstick
| 24
118 I never said it isn't gross, I just stated it's not unusual. I find it quite horrifying actually.
Reply
iloveboyswittats
| 10
Actually the swallowing a bug thing is a myth. A college professor started it to see how many people he could convince. It was an experiment to see how many people never check the sources of information and simply believe what they hear.
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mikeyb102
| 0
Since when is throwing up when you brush your teeth normal?
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amayasoma
| 19
That's disgusting. That makes me scared to go to sleep now after reading this.
Reply
kandiman
| 5
Or maybe what you are saying is a myth. Unless you spoke to the professor yourself how do you even know the truth? A wise person once said Google can give you 30,000 answers to one question. A librarian can give you the right one.
Reply
dontpanic_fml
| 32
Type "8 spiders a year" into Snopes, 245. I'd believe Snopes over a librarian any day.
Reply
Trilogy
| 1
That's disgusting you sick little demented child; Eating bugs and shit. Hmmm
Reply
gregorrok1
| 0
It wouldn't be too unusual except that cockroaches are massive insects not to mention disgusting...
Reply
shelbygordon44
| 7
I wonder if the OP just happened to have his girlfriend put a reward system for him when he brushes his teeth...
Reply
LindseyLunatic
| 8
then why do i always wake up hungry?
>.>
i must be eating the skinny bugs. hmph.
>.>
i must be eating the skinny bugs. hmph.
Reply
tnigz
| 3
109 its 10 a year not per nighta
Reply
Beanzii
| 0
It's not that you eat the bugs in your sleep, you eat them in your food. That can of soup you opened yeah those carrots had spiders on them at one point and maybe the spiders little leg came off and stuck onto it. Aka spider leg in soup. It happens alot with chocolate, just think about how things are made, who is looking for daddy long legs?
The cockroach is gross though, that would have had to be in whatever they ate before they went to bed. Maybe it dropped in their late night cereal and OP thought it was just a coco puff.
The cockroach is gross though, that would have had to be in whatever they ate before they went to bed. Maybe it dropped in their late night cereal and OP thought it was just a coco puff.
Reply
Scands_59
| 14
Don't say that! The area I live in has a very big population of scorpions...:'(
Reply
bamagrl410
| 31
I believe 220 is correct. My roommate recently studied that in her health class. Bugs don't actually crawl in your mouth as you sleep. Well... unless you're the OP... but they do end up processed in your food. She then told me that spiders are most commonly processed in peanut butter. Mmm protein.
Reply
ChrisTheCalm
| 9
Yes, she is. Who's gonna start duct taping there mouth shut at night? Me!!
Reply
bootje
| 5
so... 220.... this is what you...... heard?
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sweet_blue
| 3
My sister in law and her husband gag atleast 5 times when they brush their teeth. It's pretty gross
Reply
WutzButz
| 3
Actually i often gag while brushing my teeth, once or twice i even threw up stomach fluid. I really am that sensible to things in my mouth. Guess no deepthroating for my guy.
Reply
goneyetalive
| 0
pic.??
Reply
crazyladydaisy
| 4
Oh, thank god. Lol
Reply
VIPwhenever
| 15
Wouldn't the bugs be dissolved by your stomach acid?
Reply
randomcrazyguy
| 17
Time to sleep with one of those doctor mask things
Reply
SorryForYourLoss
| 9
That was actually a scam to show that people believe anything that they see on the internet
By
littlesoul
| 3
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
Red7646
| 0
Minty fresh?
Reply
kewlkate
| 9
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
robertlovespi
| 3
Punctuation nazi
Reply
NeatNit
| 32
Actually it's an undercover grammer nazi. It's disguised as an extremely typo-tolerant punctuation nazi.
Reply
baconstrips
| 12
Thats just gross
Reply
themacuser
| 0
47 If I was cheese, I'd wear a hat too.
Reply
youngbuck10
| 9
I think you meant GRAMMAR nazi. Thanks!
Reply
EdwardJayms
| 0
Grammar shouldn't be in all capital letters, in fact in the middle of a sentence it shouldn't be in capital letters at all ;)
Reply
luvppl
| 6
Actually, while "grammar" doesn't need to be capitalized, it needs to be in quotation marks to signify that it is not being used for its definition. Sorry, I'm not a grammar nazi, but I had to join in on this thread. I'm sure it's better than me saying, "C-C-COMBO BREAKER!" :P
Reply
faithxoxox
| 1
Actually, it would be "grammatical nazi". 'Nuff said.
Reply
skullcandifiedDJ
| 5
the comments above made me laugh more than the actual post lol
Reply
caos901atgmail
| 0
Nice one
Reply
GrammarNaziFTW
| 0
No comment.
Reply
Mewzakuro240
| 0
Probably about as good as good as your grammar, cowboy.
Reply
Dreamkiller51
| 5
2- just take Timon & Pumba's word "it taste like chicken"
Reply
luvppl
| 6
232 - Touché, my friend.
Reply
g0bak3acake
| 0
280- hahahahaha is actually grammar nazi!! that's funny
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xNephilim
| 18
Am I the only one who noticed it should say "what does it taste like?" or "how does it taste?" and not "how does it taste like?"?
Reply
missalkali
| 8
no smarty. there was about a dozen comments on the topic.
forget think before you you speak, read before you type, bro! reeeeaaaaddd!!!
forget think before you you speak, read before you type, bro! reeeeaaaaddd!!!
Reply
TrippingOnAcid
| 29
#366 The Americans seem to do it all the time. "How I think my hair looks like"..."How my hair really looks like" They seem to think that's okay.
By
shellzy
| 20
Oh god...I just threw up a little. Cockroach free at least.
Reply
DoubleDose
| 0
That happened to me once, except I threw up a family of spiders. Let's just say my arachnophobia had a field day. (they were live spiders and a few tried webbing back into my mouth
Reply
chelseaaababyyy
| 17
oh my god, thats horrifying.
Reply
shootintacos
| 0
someone bury 53's comment. PLEASE.
Reply
WhySoMad
| 0
Your a sick person
Reply
BballHottie34
| 9
thats so gross!! i would have thrown up again after realizing that was inside of me. ewww
Reply
missmady
| 0
does anybody else have a hard time believing 53's comment?
Reply
gunmania0
| 12
Yes 139. I also have a hard time believing that that is you in your display picture.
Reply
shootintacos
| 0
Christ on a jetski, 53's comment is as bad as 3 guys 1 baby. O_o
Reply
FrostHeart
| 36
Their both like guns! 1 cock(roach) and they blow!
Reply
NEEPLES
| 7
69 thumbs up!!
Reply
MeMareeh
| 0
Love '' Christ on a jetski'' gotta remember that one :o)
Reply
Chloe2008
| 0
I would never be able to eat again.....
Reply
womanjesus
| 0
How can she stand throwing up every time she brushes her teeth.
Reply
raaachel12345
| 0
What, why?
Reply
stephan18
| 23
53s comment is not that hard to believe, I heard that people swallow at least 2 spiders a year, mostly in their sleep... nasty stuff.
Reply
satph
| 12
53- THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING!!!
Reply
Daralea
| 21
274, I think the gag is usual, but I certainly hope not throwing up...Else OP will be caught in a state of perpetually brushing his/her teeth.
By
DinosaursAreCool_fml
| 8
That's nasty (Cleveland voice)
Reply
JennaLuvr
| 0
Omg you just made my life
Reply
Bbhd05
| 0
Oh Noo! Gay dude from family guy voice.
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
Mmm...(Guess voice)
Reply
SimoneDymond
| 3
GIGGITY
Reply
xSynergY
| 8
OP, your full of it.
Reply
Georgieeporgiee
| 9
I GOT A BURGER YAAY!
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DalekScythe
| 0
What the deuce?! (Stewie voice)
Reply
donutdestroy
| 4
Haha, that was possibly funnier than the post.
Reply
belkinbra
| 12
Brushing your teeth... your doing it wrong.
Reply
speshlk37
| 13
Oh DinasaursAreCool, you're what the Spanish call, "El Terrreeblay..."
Reply
Iamaninchworm
| 0
199- when you brush your teeth your suppose to brush your tongue because bacteria grows on it.
Reply
someoneO_O
| 4
henennn Sweet! (peter laugh and voice)
Reply
labudamike
| 6
When I ready it I read it in my head with the Cleveland voice anyways before seeing the the words in the parenthesis
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labudamike
| 6
When I ready it I read it in my head with the Cleveland voice anyways before seeing the the words in the parenthesis
Reply
Voqab
| 3
^ the old pedophile man in love with chris
Reply
SimoneDymond
| 3
GIGGITY GIGGITY GOO
By
crystalou_fml
| 3
Oh. My. God.
Reply
2ndSucks
| 15
Look. At. Her hair. No, but really. That was a useless comment. It's not even worth it to grammar nazi you.
By
borkchop1992
| 15
frikin balemic
Reply
ddrreeaa
| 0
Ghihf
Reply
EmreArslan
| 11
Isnt it supposed to be and showered. Cuz waking up showered sounds a bit weird ;)
By
hnz
| 13
Oh my! I'm wondering how did the cockroach went into your mouth
Reply
zolziski
| 11
She's from Singapore. Maybe English isn't her first language. If you understood what was meant, what does it matter?
Reply
superangryandy
| 2
That's Hong Kong retard.
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NotDave
| 0
Singapore also belonged to the UK, dumbass.
Reply
eaglesfootball
| 1
I think the worst part is that she has no idea how it could have went into her mouth lol
Reply
zolziski
| 11
Pandamimo, I come from a country called South Africa. We were also colonized by the British and lived under their rule for quite some time. We have no less than 11 official languages, English being one of them. I can assure you that the majority of people in South Africa cannot speak English, let alone read or write it. So, actually, your point is invalid.
By
Crlnprz
| 11
damn what do they feed you?
By
krnpanda
| 2
Hope it wasnt still alive
Reply
MemeryRenae
| 0
Probably alive. You would feel it squirming around.
By
majorbob10
| 0
OH MY GOD! I JUST THREW UP A COCKROACH!
Oh god, honey, you have to see a doctor about that! Who knows what that could have done!
NO! THE WORLD OF FML MUST KNOW!
Oh god, honey, you have to see a doctor about that! Who knows what that could have done!
NO! THE WORLD OF FML MUST KNOW!
Reply
Somoajoe11
| 2
Huh pretty sure they carry diseases
Dumbass
Dumbass
Reply
dragonshear
| 1
He said SERIOUS diseases. Learn to read before you call somebody a dumbass.
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Plasmaxyz
| 5
Cockroaches can carry ecoli. (or however you spell it)
Reply
CrazyThyme
| 10
I think everyone hates you(((o(*???*)o)))?
Reply
ashes1005
| 0
Either way a disease is a disease ans hopefully it didnt lay eggs inaide her how gross would that be