By canucks_chick - 23/10/2011 05:45 - Canada

Spicy
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 524
You deserved it 20 992

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Top comments

Was it that big ? Holy shit.

I'm just gonna say it...that blows.

Comments

Bit of a mood ruiner hey?

i guess he was punching you to stop

Well that blows...

Good for your boyfriend, it was probably very intense blowjob lol but anyway FYL

That's how you know it's a quality blowjob! Enthusiasm + friction = awesomeness

5- that joke sucked badly.

Doctor- "ma'am how'd this happen." OP- "...um... I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob." Doctor- "..."

Good for you! It must mean he has a huge dick!

There will probably now be a MLIB post "my schlong is so big, it dislocated my bitches jaw MLIB"

Doctor: now would you like to demonstrate how this happened? Op: ...

Your bf either has a huuuuuge penis, or you're doing it wrong.

Your life SUCKS!

Wow, that's one heck of a boner he got there!

OR OP IS A F*CKIN IDIOT AND RAMMED THE COCK INTO HER MOUTH SIDEWAYS AND IT POPPED HER JAW OUT.

You mad bro? You got the Billy Mays button stuck down.

Lol Billy Mays button. Never heard it described that way xD

HAHA YOUR HILARIOUS, GET A LIFE YOUR MOM WANTS HER BASEMENT BACK

I know you're retarded, and you've tried to create an angry troll account for yourself, so I'll give you your first meal. I don't live with my mother, I have my own house, and more likely than not, it is nicer than any dwelling you'll ever be living in. Furthermore, my mother has cancer, so if you make another reference to her I'll have a mod look up your IP address, which will consequently give me the address to the government housing you and your miserable family lives in, and I'll replace your eye balls with your testicles, and I'll sew your mouth to your own anus, and finally, and I would frankly say most importantly, you suck a horse's phallus at trolling. Good day chodesicle.

Good luck getting a mod to give you their ip, nobody in their right mind would give Someone information on another to cause bodily harm.

My God, humor has died... Yes, I'm ACTUALLY going to go dismember somebody... You sir fail at living.

You my friend, are a boss!

are you dating John Holmes ?

Dude I seriously could not stop laughing!

AND I SHOULD KNOW THAT ABOUT YOUR MOM HOW? EITHER WAY MY APOLOGIES AND I HOPE SHE GETS BETTER. AND HAVE FUN TRYING TO GET MY IP ADDRESS AND BEAT ME UP, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'D BE GETTING INTO.

ESPECIALLY IF YOU KNEW THE OCCUPATION OF THE BEST FRIEND OF THE INDIVIDUAL YOU JUST THREATENED.

PS DROP THE MACHO MAN ATTITUDE YOU ARENT TOUGH.

OH AND BTW I WON'T SAY THEIR OCCUPATION BECAUSE THEN WHEN YOU SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THEM I CAN SNAP AND THREATEN TO STICH YOUR MOUTH TO YOUR ASSHOLE BECAUSE YOU DIDNT KNOW WHAT THEY DO.

Drop the caps. You aren't yelling. And if you are yelling, you fail at Internet.

Can we please stop talking in all caps?

that's what happens when you date the jolly green giant

He will be telling ALLLL his friends. That's probably the biggest confidence booster for a guy. Haha

did you at least finish with a handie?

What's is a blow job?

You better have finished it anyway

#284 there's this amazing thing called google, use it for any question that begins with 'what is...'

Jammy01jams 2

Don't scare him! Lockjaw is the most feared thing to a guy when receiving a BJ. Hospital encounter to get your mouth off his penis is awkward unless you're willing to rip his dick off. Oh also the fear that you may be a crazy both and bite our dick off. I never thought BJs were smart. Most vulnerable part of body into girls mouth with sharp teeth? Hmmm

Sorry I didn't mean to op...

Half horse half man

A bit of a mouthful aye?

Bet that's gonna hard to explain to your parents...

Bet that was hard to explain to your parents...

The entire male gender salutes you.

when you're old enough, Google it.

Was it that big ? Holy shit.

She could've been small lol

At least it didn't get stuck down her throght

Good luck explaining that one at the hospital.

The monster cock strikes again. It's been on the move, dislocating jaws across the country. Seems like it'll end up in new jersey next.

Sorry I can't put small objects in my mouth I'll coke.

71- Yeah, I would coke too..

It saddens me that you think throat is spelled that way.

It was so big that if he stuck it in any farther his balls would have broke both of her collar bones.

You only have one collar bone.

102 - You have two clavicles, aka collarbones, with your sternum in the middle.

102 yeah I know someone that just broke BOTH collarbones. That must mean there's two.

27, 61, 71, and 102 just made a fail train. All aboard!

Og mudbone perhaps?

127 I just thumbed you up because it sounded correct with all those big words

No there's 2

yeah um.. @GeorgieePorgiee hate to break it to you but small things can't dislocate people's jaws. see and i bet you thought you were being funny. well it's okay, some people laugh at dumbasses!

lol 69 likes... I figures this was an appropriate FML to make that comment.

I could not stop laughing!!

500 likes?! sweeetttr

Good luck telling your family how you broke your jaw! Haha

that just made my night! :)

bamagrl410 31

Pretty sure 144's response just justified me reading all of this. And I thought I was just wasting time. Haha

JAW BREAKERS! FTW

or possibly her parents...

Are you seriously that fucking stupid to think you only have one collar bone?

Glad i'm not the only person that knows who OG Mudbone is.

Hes my favorite boxer lolol

Dont chew on jaw breakers

Yeah, that sucks!

Hey 3, I'm still a girl scout :).......

Obviously it does suck!

I hope you kept going! Blue balls suck.

Muhammad Ali, George Foreman, Evander Holyfield... None pack the punch of your boyfriend's dick

He cock blocked himself!

Nah, he jaw locked her.

Ya, he cocked blocked himself with his own cock....must of sucked big time.

He's probably wondering if she'll finish up later?

How does one manage that?

That's dedication

Only if she made sure he was done

Bitch on a pension suck my dong

trn on d b82rez

At least he must be "gifted" in that area If you ended up with a dislocated jaw. What may not be good for giving oral is, I'm sure very good in other respects.

HES PROBABLY GOT A TINY COCK AND SHE DISLOCATED HER JAW TRYING TO SUCK HIS ASSHOLE AT THE SAME TIME TO GIVE HIM MORE PLEASURE

OR HE'S SO SMALL SHE TRIED TO SUCK HIS ASSHOLE AT THE SAME TIME TO GIVE HIM MORE PLEASURE AND DISLOCATED HER JAW

CAPSLOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL STILL?! I NEVER KNEW! Turn it off, screaming in a rage isn't necessary*.... *sp?

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU JUST SAID, OBVIOUSLY SOME ESL LESSONS ARE NECESSARY FOR YOU KIND SIR

Did he ask you to keep going?

With her jaw messed up, she could open wider and go deeper. It would have been unwise to miss that opportunity.

I'm just gonna say it...that blows.

Im just gonna blow my load and say it, that sucks. Hopefully you don't have any oral reports cumming soon.